Recently in wardrobe malfunctions Category

Yes, this is the Gwyneth we remember. Young, free, flat, and unfettered by underwear.

And we thought she'd never change. Whether it was the classic chicken cutlet Oscar dress fiasco of 2002

Or the new-and-improved pregnancy version

it felt like things would never change.

So no one was more surprised than us when we saw the latest paparazzi picture of her.

Isn't it amazing to see how our Gwyneth has grown and developed over the years?

Image courtesy of The Sun

She just needs to learn that the bra goes under the clothes.

Katie Holmes is now officially Xenu's fashion muse.

The current Mrs. Tom Cruise has designed the new uniforms for staff members of "Ideal Org", the term for those Scientology churches functioning most closely in accordance with directives laid out by cult founder L Ron Hubbard. You know, Orthodox Scientologists. Like the ones at the Scientology Celebrity Center in Hollywood.

Oooo, look! Saucy accessories!

According to Scientology.com, "In its entirety, the uniform embodies the essence of international style, at home in Rome or London, but not out of place in Nashville or Inglewood, and equally well suited to South Africa and Australia." You know, all over Teegeeack.

We believe that Katie, like at least one Operating Thetan, time traveled to the early 1960's, and gained invaluable fashion inspiration. Here are some photos of Katie during that pivotal journey back in time.

Here, behold the inspiration behind Katie's creations in their proper setting. We believe the photo above shows Katie, sporting hair as golden as the Scientology logo, graciously serving L. Ron Hubbard himself.

Here, Katie joyfully serves the young Tom Cruise.

We have some suggestions for Katie's next Xenu couture line. We like the idea of the retro-future look.

We think the giant alien head look suits Scientologists well. Also, we think the helmet would effectively neutralize any evil transmissions emitting from Marcab.

We think this little number sums up the Scientologists' mindset beautifully. In fact, we think our couture suggestions score a perfect 150 on the E-meter.

Yes, typically we limit our bitching to human parents, but today we're going cross species. See, we saw one of our favorite famous parents on TV the other day: Rogue, the biological father of last fall's internet sensation, the Live Puppy Cam Shiba Inu Puppies!

Rogue competed in the ultra-prestigious Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. We couldn't help but admire his extraordinarily groomed strawberry blonde fur. In fact, we covet it.

So, it seems, does his human mom, who appears to be wearing a stylish wig made of Rogue's trimmings.

Sorry, but we couldn't help but unleash our inner bitches.

At least you've never signed your children up for this:

Mamarazzi wonders just how loud the outcry would be if this was a video of little girls on a pole?

These days, to be an Anybody in Hollywood, you've got to have a new baby.

Poor Minka Kelly doesn't have one and maybe, just maybe that's hurting her career.

Looks to us that she's SO desperate to look like a new mom, she dressed like one at the Golden Globe Awards.

Seriously, look at her bodice. Look at its design.

Are we seeing things or has Minka adopted the Nursing Mom Leakage look?

Comments?

Remember "The Monster Mash?"

Of course you do.

Well, the original artist, Bobby "Boris" Pickett will live forever, won't he? You listened to his song, your parents probably listened to his song, and now your kids listen to his song. That's better than fifteen minutes of fame.

But apparently, for Pickett's daughter, that's not enough. So she had his ashes made into a diamond ring.

Los Angeles, CA October 31st, 2008 – Bobby Pickett who co-wrote and performed "The Monster Mash", died at the age of 69 on April 25, 2007 in Los Angeles, California, due to complications from leukemia. His daughter Nancy Huus was at his side when he died.

After his death, Nancy had a .44 ct colorless LifeGem diamond created from his cremated remains. She wears it in a white gold solitaire ring. Pickett was diagnosed with leukemia 5 years ago, and he and his daughter Nancy talked openly about death. “I saw a show about turning cremated remains into diamonds,” said Nancy, “I immediately called my father and told him that I wanted to make a diamond from his cremated remains; he loved the idea.”

On Halloween Pickett used to say “They dig me up every year.” This year for Halloween his daughter is wearing him as a LifeGem Diamond Ring. “Bobby was a minimalist, not elaborate,” said Huus. Her simple solitaire ring reflects that personality.

Bless her heart, isn't that just as sweet as a bowl of Halloween candy?

Pardon us while we retch. Not about making someone's ashes into a diamond ... after all, people bronze baby shoes and dry wedding bouquets--why not recycle pop's ashes?

No, it's the idea of doing it, and then allowing yourself to be quoted in marketing materials.

That's just gruesome.

(Do you agree? Disagree? Want to have us cremated and made into a tiara? Come over here and comment.)