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When we saw the cover for The Situation's new book, we knew it would make a great Mamarazzi post. We hate to judge a book by its cover, but come on--what's not to mock? There he is, showing us his abs again. Doesn't he realize they're already seared into our brains?

But when we read an excerpt, we realized the book would also make a valuable teaching aid by teaching you how not to write. The book includes a piece of current slang in every single sentence, thus guaranteeing that no matter how funny it reads now, it will be even funnier in 10 years. Check out this excerpt about shopping, with the Urban Dictionary-style slang printed in bold:

I wear what makes me feel good because I'm at the tip of the spear--the cutting edge of fashion that's fresh to death. . . . When I enter a store, I trust my eye to zero in on what's mint. That's the single most effective system I have for knowing when to pull the trigger on a purchase. If I find myself hemming and hawing, that's a clear indication that the garment in question is not destined to make my rotation. I walk away from the rack because I've failed to make a connection to those threads. On the other hand, if I know from the moment I see it that that particular piece is going to make me look awesome, I trust my instinct completely and it comes home with The Sitch.

This book is ripe for being turned into a MadLibs party game. Anyone can play! Take the bold words or phrases and turn them into MadLibs questions, like "synonym for 'the latest style'" or "nickname in the third person."

Then try playing it with your kids on long car rides--say to the Jersey Shore. Trust The Popster--it'll be off the hook.

Regardless of your political outlook, as Americans, we should be united in our search for truth, justice, and a way to get Sarah Palin's children to STFU.

And in a truly just society, Sarah Palin's former future son-in-law would get his untalented self off center stage and away from the media.

It's not enough that Bristol Palin will be appearing this fall on Dancing with the Wannabes. Now Levi Johnston (remember him?) is announcing to anyone who'll listen that he regrets apologizing to Sarah and Todd last summer.

Oh, and the reason for this interview? Levi has decided to run for office.

And that's why we've decided it's time to make a fundamental change in the government. For years we've believed that Queen Elizabeth II's children took the prize for being the most embarrassing, idiotic offspring of a politician or, in the Queen's case, ruling monarch. Many years of drinking haven't erased our memories of toe-sucking and wanting to be a tampon and such. But Bristol and Levi are causing us to change our minds.

There's only one answer, and that's a Constitutional Amendment barring politicians from getting married and/or having children.

With this amendment in place, Levi Johnston wouldn't be able to become chief dog-catcher of Wasilla, Alaska and then try to become President.

So please join our grass-roots movement. Before Alaska Hunting runs paparazzi photos of someone sucking Bristol Palin's toes.

Singer Brandy on the parenting style she's using on her seven-year-old daughter :

"I love being a mom and I'm raising her in a different way than how I was raised. Some things that my mom did with me, I do with my daughter -- it's just a different dynamic. I would love for people to see how I'm doing it because I think I could be a good example of a young, single mom."

"A lot of mothers feel like they're the mom first, with that authority. But for me, I'm a friend first. I believe that just being there for my daughter as a friend more than 'I'm in charge...' causes her to be more open with me as a person. That's just what our relationship is. Of course, there are times when I have to discipline her -- I'm mom. But there's still that nurturing and love there that we have. I know I'll probably get flack for being a friend first, but it really works. She's really honest with me. I'm just teaching her how to trust herself. I tell her all the time that my life is not your life -- you have your own life."

"At the end of the day we're going to be friends. When she grows up, it'll be about that friendship that we'll have. She'll come to me for any problems that she has. If I have an authoritative wall up, she's going to rebel and not come to me and I don't want that."

We gotta hand it to you, it's a creative approach!
However, birthing two bus loads of kids and changing your look

Radar

to better resemble his sex kitten lover/adoption partner/offspringer bearer,

NBC/AP

is not going to get you any closer to sleeping with Brad Pitt.

So knock it off.

These days, to be an Anybody in Hollywood, you've got to have a new baby.

Poor Minka Kelly doesn't have one and maybe, just maybe that's hurting her career.

Looks to us that she's SO desperate to look like a new mom, she dressed like one at the Golden Globe Awards.

Seriously, look at her bodice. Look at its design.

Are we seeing things or has Minka adopted the Nursing Mom Leakage look?

Comments?