Recently in Victoria (Posh) Beckham Category

We're getting down to the wire, but Mamarazzi has charted the stars (and their offspring) and assembled a list of costume ideas to help make Halloween 2009 a fright to remember!

Octomom: Patron Saint of the Perpetually Pregnant.

Dita Von Teese rocks the Solar System look. (Frugalistas take note: could also double as a science project!)

Lourdes goes old-school and dresses like Mom back in the like-a-virgin days.

Victoria Beckham in "Project Runway designer when the Xanax runs out" garb.

Noah Cyrus & Friend recreate that brief and wonderous time when Paris and Britney were BFFs.

And if you're really crunched for time this Halloween, Amy Winehouse illustrates how easily anyone can pull off the famous Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction.

Oh look, here's Victoria Beckham out shopping.

Image courtesy of People.com.

Uh Victoria, darling... Perhaps you aren't aware of this, but here in the U.S. of A., moms DO NOT dress like Joan Collins in "Dynasty" when we run errands. We wear our Old Navy jeans, our Gap t-shirts, and our Target ballet slippers.

And we always, always, always wear a bra.

Got something to say? Leave a comment at Jen's blog.

Dear Mrs. Beckham:

We, the Mamas of Mamarazzi, laud you for your always-entertaining sense of style.

Coordinating outfits with your hawt husband is kind of cute:

Although your up-to-your-chin boobies are a bit scary.

Wearing bondage gear outside of the house takes a certain amount of chutzpah:

And any mother who can wear hot pants--and look good in them, in spite of having given birth three times--has earned our respect:

Even though this outfit wouldn't work at the kids' soccer games.

(Also? What's the deal with the corsets? It's not as if you have to hide a poochy belly. Is Becks into bondage gear? Is this how you keep things exciting in your gorgeous marriage?)

We Mamas love the way you wear black so well, even if we don't agree that the bra-less French Maid look is a good one:

And while you may have made a few fashion mis-steps along the way ...

you generally intrigue us. And cause a bit of envy, too:

But we do have a bit of advice to pass along to you, dear.

Never EVER match your accessories to your skin tone.

It's too hard to tell your skin from the cow's.

(We also suggest you back away from the tanning bed and get to know our friend SPF30--but that's a post for another time.)

XO,
The Mamas of Mamarazzi

You know how sometimes you pick a supermarket line not because it's shorter than the others, but because it has better trashy magazines?

And how you maybe don't want to admit it, but you check out Perez Hilton, D-Listed, or TMZ.com every single day?

And how you justify buying Posh Spice's book because it will be really useful research for a Mamarazzi post?

Oh, that last part? You mean it was just us? Well OK. Confession time: one of us bought a copy of That Extra Half an Inch. Because she thought it might come in handy when she needed material for a Mamarazzi post.

And it just did.

There are certainly some howlers in this book, as well as plenty of evidence that this edition was rushed through the American press (newsflash for British editors: Americans don't know what "the high street" is) but unfortunately, the fact remains that Posh's advice about shoes is actually pretty good.

Which brings us to this photograph of Posh and Becks at Disneyland:

For the record, in the book she recommends Havaianas because "they come in great colours [sic] and are probably the first flip-flops ever not to rub painfully between your toes, thanks to their satin-soft rubber."

So while she never says "For God's sake, wear comfortable shoes to trudge through Disneyland with your hunky husband and three sons!" it's clear from the picture that the girl still knows her flip-flops.

We know.

Is there a fancy German compound word for the crushing sense of disappointment we feel in seeing the Beckhams looking and acting so--well--normal?

May your new year sparkle and shine


and may this one be less crappy than the last.

May even your wildest of dreams come true in 2008

butt

remember not to drink and drive!

Happy New Year from the Mamarazzi!

It's not every day we get to say something positive about celebrity mothers--particularly about their brain power.

Let's not mince words. Celebrity mothers can be kind of stupid. It starts, apparently, when they decide to name their children Fifi Trixibelle Moonchild ... and goes rapidly downhill.

::cough::Britney::cough::

And what with Heidi Klum claiming Britney taught her everything she knows about diapering, we begin to wonder when the next celebrity mom interview gaff will take place.

And it is true that Posh's mommy dresses her funny. And yet! Posh has exceeded our expectations by making the following remarks in an interview for Elle magazine:

Posh is observant:

"It became very obvious from the start that I was never going to be the best singer or the best dancer or the best actress."

humble:

"You know, I've never been that good at anything, to be completely honest."

and basically, brilliant:

"You don't sleep with David Beckham ... I'm going to be naked if I'm getting in bed with him every night!"

When you're a C-lister like Joey Fatone, you can get you daughter backstage to meet The (seriously creepy) Doodlebops.

But when you're a B-lister like Victoria Beckham, you get to actually be Big Bird.

Poor, poor Posh. Seems that in April, Star magazine claimed that crew members and staff working on her upcoming NBC reality show-reduced-to-one-hour-special Victoria Beckham: Coming to America described her as "picky, demanding and rude". One allegedly claimed she was "full of herself and not very nice".

OK, technically, filming hadn't started when the comments were published. NBC, however, confirmed the show to the press February 28 and in April the show was well into pre-production. Plus, Posh was heavily photographed publicizing the show. And NOT leaving a trail of smiles in her wake.

Time for a little damage control, right, Posh? Send in the spin doctors?

Which choice did Posh make? Was it:

A. Smile. Even if that means cutting back on the Botox for a few days. Admit that life's been a bit nerve-wracking lately with the move to L.A., the reality show, the Spice Girls reunion (well, the $20 million from that soothes the nerves a tad), and launching your new line of denim (such as $250 jeans). And we're not even mentioning putting up with Tom Cruise and that increasingly creepy little Stepford Wife of his!

B. Found a rehab center designed to change cold showbiz beeatches (and Justin Timberlake) into warmhearted humans.

C. Sue Star magazine and win. Make Star's parent company apologize, pay your legal costs plus "substantial" damages (translation: Posh, you can afford another 18" x 18" leather belt!) for hurting your image .

As what? Deeply concerned humanitarian?

Answer Hint: Watch for Posh sporting a new size 2T belt!

We've grilled burgers that were a bigger handful than that waistline. Come on over, Victoria!

David loved soccer with the kids, but Victoria enjoyed their family bike rides the best.