Mamarazzi: Victoria Beckham Archives

May
07

We Got a Million of 'Em.

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Kirstie Alley confirmed to People magazine that she has gained 83 pounds over the past year and a half. We are impressed. We're no strangers to weight gain but wow, we're in awe. Even we wonder, just how can someone gain so many pounds in such a short period of time?

Then we realized how Kirstie did it. Without realizing it, she accidentally sat on Victoria Beckham!

Not to worry, Kirstie. As soon as you peel Posh off of your bottom, you'll immediately lose maybe HALF of those 83 pounds!

Press the red button below for the dumb joke rimshot!

Mar
12

Mistakes Galore.

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LemonySarah

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On Tuesday night, Madonna and good pal Jessica Seinfeld celebrated the Jewish holiday Purim with their significant others. Dressing up in costumes is a Purim tradition, celebrating The Book of Esther's many cases of important mistaken identities.

Hoo boy, we found mistakes galore.

The picture above? It's Jessica Seinfeld as Queen Esther. Remember when Madonna became Jewish and wanted everyone to call her Esther? And who's that holding ~~mom's~~ Jessica's hand? Her husband Jerry Seinfeld, the professional joker? Hee hee! It's not Jer, it's Madonna's Boy Toy, baby Jesus! He traded his swadling clothes for the costume ~~Mom~~ Madonna bought him.

But, Jesus? Why so serious? So what if you're ~~being used by~~ hanging out with a bunch of people your parents' age? So what if your costume is so last Purim?

And we're not even going to mention Madonna. She wants to be mistaken for her own daughter Lourdes. Or maybe a goth early Britney. Or maybe a major mistake of combining the two.

Special note to Lourdes: Celebrate Purim dressed as a pitiful skinny old woman trying to look young by dragging a kid young enough to be her son around. You know, dress as your mom.

Getting back to Baby Jesus, we can't help but notice a resemblance to a photo we saw the other day of another couple whose age difference is very close to Madonna's and Jesus'. Make no mistake about it.

Oct
22

My Pokey Mommy

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Susie Sunshine

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Tired of primping for a night on the town only to have your kids wrinkle your wardrobe and crush your coiffure? Posh Spice offers a fewhelpful hints on how to ditch your darlings yet still dazzle your dude.

For hair to survive your heirs, take a cue from Mother Nature. Ask your hairdresser for "The Porcupine".

Everyone knows the right pair of shoes can make or break an outfit. Perfect shoes can break the skin of kids who get to close to Mommy when she's trying to get some special Daddy time.

Oct
15

Costumes Ideas: Vol I

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Susie Sunshine

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This year to aid you in your Halloweenness, Mamarazzi has combed the celebrity archives to put together a celebrity costume guide. (No treats necessary!)

Celin Dion as Last Square of Toilet Paper Stuck on the Roll

Mary Kate and Ashely Olsen as Vampire Zombies, Bob Saget as Priest Who Loves Children a Little Too Much.

Denise Richards as Britney Past

Sarah Silverman as Britney Present

Courtney Love as Britney Future

Britney as Sexy Librarian Minus Books and Sexy

Katie Holmes in festive Tablecloth and Tree Topper ensemble

Tara Reid as a Birthday Cupcake with Sprinkles and Bourbon

Victoria Beckham as Jane Jetson

Victoria Beckham in Jane Jetson After Hours (George Out of Town) version

Victoria Beckham as Crime Scene Swiffer

Gisele Bundchen as Tall, Cool Glass of Water

Sep
27

Losing Pounds and Inches

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LemonySarah

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We're all used to celeb moms shrinking by losing pounds.

But lately it seems that some have actually become Shrinky-Dinks®.

Take note! Posh Beckham appears to have lost several inches in height. She needs a booster seat to drive!

And Sarah Jessica Parker's shrunken so much that..well, see for yourself! Her head's tinier than her posy!

Jun
28

Rhyme Time

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You might know my mummy as Posh.
We're off to the World Cup, by gosh!
Dunno why she fancies
her jeans cut like panties...
When I said they looked cheap, she said, "Bosh!"

They call me a maven of style,
Yes, even when carrying a child.
While King takes a nap,
I wear him like a wrap.
And it always drives the press wild!

My mama done dyed her hair.
She showed Pa, but he didn't care.
I thought she looked bad
with the hair that she had,
But this 'do is worse! What's next? Nair?

Recently in Victoria Beckham Category

We Got a Million of 'Em.

Mistakes Galore.

My Pokey Mommy

Costumes Ideas: Vol I

Losing Pounds and Inches

Rhyme Time

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Recently in Victoria Beckham Category

We Got a Million of 'Em.

Mistakes Galore.

My Pokey Mommy

Costumes Ideas: Vol I

Losing Pounds and Inches

Rhyme Time

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