Salma Hayek is the world's greatest soccer mom.
See, many of you might not know it (because you're American) but the World Cup is happening even as we speak. And Salma Hayek is a huge soccer fan. (Emphasis on huge.)
Ordinary people--people who are incapable of deep, nuanced thinking about serious subjects like celebrity boobs would say that Salma's recent appearances on the red carpet and on Letterman were designed to promote Grown Ups.
Pshaw! Too pat; too simple. Here's our theory:
When she appears on Letterman wearing a black leather outfit,
and then on the red carpet wearing a white strapless dress,
(in both cases, looking remarkably globular) she's trying to send out subliminal messages about the World Cup.
Since her husband is French, we're guessing the messages might be something along the lines of "Go, Mexico!" and "BWAHAHAHAHA ... France. Must. Die!"
And so far, it has worked.
Believe in the power of Salma and her subliminal balls. We do.
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