Mamarazzi: Peter Wentz Archives

Jan
07

Preemptive Strike

By

Susie Sunshine

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New dad Pete Wentz shared with OK! magazine that his new year'r resolution is to clean up his language.
“I’m working on not swearing around Bronx…I know I have a bit of a bad mouth!"

It's always a good idea to model appropriate words for the younger generation, lest your kid be the one kicked out of preschool for sailor-speak. However, Mamarazzi suspects that Wentz finally took a good look in a mirror and realized little Bronx Mowgli's first words may very well be, "What the holy hell where you thinking?!"

Dec
26

Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee

By

Poppy Buxom

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Happy boxing day!

What--you don't know what boxing day is? OK, we'll explain.

It's the day we administer a well-deserved uppercut to Pete Wentz for admitting to a member of the press that he had 1. tasted his wife's breast milk and 2. found it "soury and weird."

Was he high????

Pete Wentz before we smack him up the side of the head ...

Honestly! Did he think he was being edgy? Or that as an artist, he needed to shock the bourgeoisie?

Whatever. We think Ashley should shut off access to all of her bodily fluids until he apologizes.

And after
--
Ew, right? Right? Or not. Let us know here.

Dec
12

American public to Pete and Ashlee: pick up the clue phone

By

Poppy Buxom

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In their attempts to become more like Brangelina, Pete and Ashlee are trying to peddle photographs of Bronx Mowgli, but without much success.

It seems the pair has approached all the major U. S. celebrity rags, and no one is biting.

According to one source, "covers of them don't tend to sell well."

Come on! That cover's not so bad.

The bulldog looks really cute.

--
Meow! Or is it woof woof? Let us know by commenting here.

Dec
10

Bad Tidings We Bring

By

Susie Sunshine

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Star magazine believes it has solved the mystery of why Ashlee Simpson and Peter Wentz gave their son such a crappy name. It seems that it's not accidental that "Bronx" ends in "x" just like the Jolie-Pitt boys' names: Maddox, Pax, and Knox.
Simpson and Wentz tried to ape a baby name like their Hollywood heros in an attempt to be more like Jolie and Pitt.