After having U2 perform...
... and Jack Black talk ...
... and the Boss do his stuff ...
... and this bad ass mofo grace everyone with his supreme coolness ...
... at your dad's big shindig...
What on earth could possibly compare?
How will these girls celebrate their birthdays in the future?
Magicians and ponies just won't cut it.
What do you think? Leave your comments at Mamarazzi's new social networking site.
All photos courtesy of Reuters.
Dear Malia and Sasha Obama,
As you know, your dad is running for President of the United States -- a job change that apparently you girls aren't too excited about. You don't want to leave your house, your friends, your school, and everything you know for a new house, new friends, and new school.
Girls, we understand. We Mamas of Mamarazzi have children and we know how change can be a real bummer, so we think you should make this situation work for you. Play on your parents' feelings of guilt. Now would be an EXCELLENT time to renegotiate your allowance.
Let's start with the basics. What are you getting? According to People magazine, you get $1 a week and that's if your dad remembers to give it to you.
What are you asking for? Since your dad is so busy, we suggest that you request to be paid monthly, instead of weekly, and that you ask for a dollar amount equal to your age. So, $10 a month for Malia and $7 a month for Sasha.
Now, how do you make the ask? Luckily, your Auntie Oprah has some negotiating tactics on her website:
Gather all the information -- As a U.S. Senator, your dad earns $162,100 a year. If your family ends up moving to the White House, your dad's salary will go up to $400,000, his housing would be free, and he wouldn't have to put gas in the limo or Air Force One. Clearly, Dad would have some extra cash available.
Visualize the result -- A higher allowance = more Webkinz for you.
Know what you are contributing to the bottom line -- Here's the dealio: Presidential candidates are family people and, as such, are frequently photographed with their spouses and children. Without you, your dad's image as a loving family man is no good. He needs you, with your adorable photogenic smiles, to help complete the picture.
Be prepared to walk -- You might need to pout and sulk a bit. Squeeze out a tear or two and let your lower lip tremble a bit. But don't whine or throw a tantrum. That will just antagonize Mom and Dad and they might even turn down your request.
Give a little, get a little -- According to People magazine, you don't get birthday presents because your parents think that they already spend enough money on your birthday parties. While we can see how you might want to throw in a request for some American Girl dolls, we suggest that you include this in your initial list of demands but then drop it later. You'll seem reasonable, while you're still getting what you really want.
Be willing to do things others are not -- Just by supporting your dad and agreeing to move to Washington DC, we think you will have already given far more than most elementary school children. Frankly, maybe you ought to also ask for liberal use of the White House swimming pool, movie theater, and bowling lane.
And, a few more tactics from us seasoned Mamas -- In the days and weeks leading up to your negotiations, we suggest that you two girls get along with each other as much as possible. That means no fighting and no tattling. You definitely should play nicely and share your Polly Pockets. You are a team and need to work together.
Malia and Sasha, while we Mamas are officially non-partisan, we wish you luck with your negotiating!
XO, the Mamas of Mamarazzi
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Image courtesy of People.com.
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