We started this blog five years ago, but until today, Nicolas Cage hadn't made an appearance. Well, today, a grave oversight has been rectified. Nick's snarkable acts include:
- Going on insane shopping sprees where in one year, he bought three mansions, two planes, several yachts, a squadron of Rolls Royces, and millions of dollars worth of art and jewelry.
- Owing over $6 million dollars in back taxes, even though he earned $40 million last year.
- Losing houses in Bel Air and New Orleans to bankruptcy court, and taking huge hits on the half dozen other properties he's bought in the last five years.
- Marrying Lisa Marie Presley. For 108 days. (Their divorce proceedings took longer than the marriage lasted.)
In short, Cage is a Mamarazzi cocktail--take the conspicuous consumption of Michael Jackson, add the public drunkenness of Mel Gibson, top with the highly unconvincing hair of John Travolta, then shake like crazy and serve.
Nick's latest performance
The latest? Getting drunk in New Orleans and daring a cop to arrest him. Which--hello? The cops in New Orleans can deal with public drunkenness. But dare them to arrest you in front of dozens of witnesses, and within minutes, your mug shot will be all over the internet.
If this keeps up, it's totally going to embarrass Nick's son, Kal-el. Yes, Kal-el Coppola Cage. And yes, that's Superman's name on Kryton.
This kind of craziness has to stop. As parents, we can't go on rewarding bad behavior. Honestly, if you aren't already boycotting Cage's movies, you need to start now. It's the responsible thing to do.
Nick, during slightly better hair days, in Raising Arizona--life imitates art
Unless Nick stars in a reality show. We're thinking Lives of the Semi-Talented and Shopaholic. That might be worth watching.
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