The holidays are a time of year when even non-musical families find themselves belting out "Deck the Halls" when the mood is right and the eggnog properly spiked.
So just imagine what must transpire when music-industry families gather with friends and loved ones!
Take the Cyrus family: what sort of lyrical loveliness is created when Achey Breaky Papa Billy Ray, tween sensation Miley, and poptart-in-training Noah join hands and gather around the fireplace?
We're getting down to the wire, but Mamarazzi has charted the stars (and their offspring) and assembled a list of costume ideas to help make Halloween 2009 a fright to remember!
Octomom: Patron Saint of the Perpetually Pregnant.
Dita Von Teese rocks the Solar System look. (Frugalistas take note: could also double as a science project!)
Lourdes goes old-school and dresses like Mom back in the like-a-virgin days.
Victoria Beckham in "Project Runway designer when the Xanax runs out" garb.
Noah Cyrus & Friend recreate that brief and wonderous time when Paris and Britney were BFFs.
And if you're really crunched for time this Halloween, Amy Winehouse illustrates how easily anyone can pull off the famous Janet Jackson Wardrobe Malfunction.
Dear Billy Ray:
Are you mental, or do you just think we're forgetful?
Let us help you out here; we're not forgetful. We remember your dumb-ass Achy Breaky Heart song and the mullet that went with it.
Photo courtesy of ScrapeTV.com
We remember the the nude picture of Miley that showed up in Vanity Fair. And the provocative father/daughter shots of you and Miley.
Photo courtesy of Gothamist.com
Not to mention Miley's MySpace self-portraits.
Complete with duck lips.
Photo courtesy of ThisisBandit.com
We even remember hearing about you telling Miley to get back on twitter. (Tell us why again? Because she wasn't getting enough publicity?)
But now? Now your nine-year old daughter goes to a Halloween party dressed as ... what is this, anyway? A Hoochie Witch?
Whatever it is, it's bad. So guess what? You just won the Mamarazzi "Bad Dad o' the week" award.
(But don't get excited. It's only Monday. Some other idiot might screw up before Friday.)
Now please get lost. And take your soul patch with you.
The Mamarazzi
p.s. As skinny as Noah is, you somehow managed to find her a hootchy witch outfit that was too tight. Way to go, mullet head!
Mamarazzi seems to recall there's an old parenting adage that goes:
"Photograph a 15-year-old and make her look freshly fucked, shame on you
Pose her in a do-me-on-this-table-right-now stance while wearing hookeresque footwear a year later, shame on her parents for providing underage soft porn."
Look, we realize you're a child star and you don't get to go to a regular high school. But the internet is not your 10th grade classroom. And a tweet is not a diary entry or a note you pass to your friend during American History because it's like, totally boring.
Twitpic of Miley and her mother eating dinner in Savannah, uploaded by Miley
Anything you put on the internet will be there for ever. And you're spilling your guts about the guy you just broke up with.
life will go on. you will smile again.... we will smile again.11:53 AM Jun 8th from mobile web
Trust us; you will regret making a huge display of your 16-year-old hurt feelings.
- This is how I know everything will be okay. The LORD has brought me hope, and I am not alone. I always have my guardian angel 9:14 AM Jun 8th from TwitPic
But that won't stop all your fans from getting their very own twitter accounts so they can start spilling their guts, too.
We're miles and miles apart but I'm still holding on to your heart. about 15 hours ago from mobile web
And some of those fans are our daughters.
And we really don't want them thinking that oversharing on the internet is the new black. So please cut it out.
my tweets were just on headline news- people twitter is NOT news! i just wanna live and learn 11:08 PM Jun 9th from mobile web
Trust us, Miley. You will.
"She's beautiful, and I love her, and she can like, adopt me if she wants to."
- Miley Cyrus, on Best Actress nominee Angelina Jolie, to E! host Ryan Seacrest
People
Mamarazzi excuses Miley for her apparent confusion between physical attraction and like, actual parenting, as there are no daddy/daughter pictures like this in any of our photo albums.
Vogue
Vogue
With the new President and the dawn of a new era of civility, the Mamarazzi was fully prepared step back and embrace the change. Yes we can!
And then was saw this picture and said, "THE HELL WE CAN!"
Photo by Splash News
Apparently we're also seeing the dawn of Hannah Montana: The Hooker Years.
Awwww...........isn't that sweet! Fifteen-year-old Disney tween queen Miley Cyrus has a twenty-year old boyfriend!
We can't imagine anything untoward ever occurring between an older guy and an underage girl.
Seriously, what could go wrong?
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Billy Ray Cyrus,
We Mamas of Mamarazzi have been unbelievably quiet on the subject of your daughter Miley. Other than expressing a bit of confusion over her Vanity Fair photos last spring, we have remained mum on other topics, including the plethora of inappropriate photos of herself the child keeps posting online. (We're not linking to the photos here, as she is underage and we have some standards.)
But this has us up in arms:
Mr. and Mrs. Cyrus, ARE YOU IDIOTS? Have you not taught your children to wear helmets when they ride their bikes? She could be seriously injured or worse. And that would seriously achy breaky your hearts.
We beg you to make her wear a helmet ALWAYS, because we'd rather have to hear more of her terrible music than to hear that she was injured or killed in a bike accident.
Sincerely,
The Mamas of 'Razzi
Comments? Click here to leave 'em at Jen's blog.
Photo courtesy of Perez Hilton.
We're late to the party, but still we feel the need to weigh in on the Miley Cyrus Vanity Fair Cover Scandal.
It's this photo of Miley and her daddy, Billy Ray... we can't help but feel confused when we look at it and so we turn to you, our dear readers, and ask for your opinion -
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