Recently in Michael Jackson Category

It's been a long time since we opened a Mad magazine. After all, we're not exactly their target demographic.

But when we heard that they picked the canonization of Michael Jackson as the Number 1 Stupid Thing of 2009, we had to take a peek. And this is what we saw.

So tell us. Funny? Or two very sequined thumbs down?

Just when we thought we couldn't stand to hear one. more. word. about Michael Jackson, Madonna gave her speech at the MTV video awards.

Courtesy of Dailymail.co.uk

She pointed out the things she and Michael had in common.

Courtesy of the Daily Express

She recalled her attempts to get to know him in 1991.

Courtesy of People.com

It was incredibly moving, and made us feel really bad about all the mean things we've said about Madonna over the years.

It also made us think of what we missed by Michael's untimely death. If he had lived, Madonna might have remembered he existed.

Hell, she would probably have tried to adopt him.

Proof that the news media is desperate: Two solid weeks after MJ's death and he still dominates the New York Times headlines. Oy.

Admit it. Would you rather read about the economy, worldwide civil unrest, our dying planet, or LOLcats, confused doggies or that tickle-lovin' slow loris?

We suspect the hard news media is not only giving us what we want, they're biding their time, hoping that Michael becomes zombiefied. You know, bringing the Thriller video to life. Err, death.

The MJ zombie dance begins at about the 3:35 mark. Full length MJ-as-Zombie Thriller video available here.

We interrupt this time of celebrity death, speculation about the celebrity death and who the biological parents of the dead celebrity's kids are and whether or not the dead celebrity's abusive, stage-parent parents should be raising the supposed offspring of that uber-talented and uber-messed up now-dead son, to bring you some happy, non-legal advisor celebrity parent news:

Spiderman Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyer slipped under the celebrity birthing radar by adding a baby boy to their brood on May 8th.

However, it's been nearly TWO MONTHS and the new baby's name has not been announced. So let's take some of the heat off little Duvet/Coverlet/ Afghan and his older sibs and spend the day guessing what this new baby's name could be.
(Here's a helpful hint, the baby's big sister was officially dubbed "Ruby Sweetheart" by these same parents.)

The Mamas would like to remind everyone that whether you loved or loathed Michael Jackson, there is a silver lining to his death.

Photo courtesy of Yahoo Images.

We'll probably go at least a week without hearing about these people:

Photo courtesy of People.com.

We get so intertwined with our idols that when they die, their deaths hit us hard.

Whether it's Buddy Holly, Elvis Presley, John Lennon, or Kurt Cobain, when a star of that magnitude dies, fans go into shock. And they mourn. Maybe not for the star so much as for a little bit of their youth.

So just this once, let's ignore the craziness. Michael Jackson is leaving behind millions of fans who will never see his like again.

Not to mention three children.

Whatever we might think of his private life--and we've thought about it quite a bit--let's not rake it all up again. If not out of respect for Michael Jackson himself, then for the millions of fans who loved him.

After all, no one needs Perez Hilton spreading rumors that his heart attack was faked, or slamming him on twitter in an on-line spat with Pete Wentz and Ashley Simpson.

So we're going to do what the man suggested himself, and leave him alone.

R.I.P.

There are a few unmistakeable signs of spring that reassure everyone that the long, cold winter is finally over:

-Flowers start to bloom

-Birds return

-Michael Jackson's kids switch from their surgical masks to Mardi Gras ones

Happy Spring, everyone!

Whether due to an urge to purge or just needing cash for more Jesus juice, Michael Jackson is paring down his possessions and selling them to the highest bidder.

As seasoned garage sale experts, Mamarazzi took a look at some of the offerings and has some advice for the former Thriller.

This is a definite keeper. It could serve either as the Naughty Chair when little Blanket needs some time to chill the hell out or could be the Chair of Honor that gets used by someone on their birthday or when something good happens, like the one day they don't get beat up on the playground for being named "Blanket".

Another keeper. Making new items out of old clothing is a HUGE thing in the crafting world, and while we've never seen anything made out of rhinestone socks before, we think they could be turned into adorable softie hedgehogs.

Yep, go ahead and get rid of this and save your children the future hassle of pulling it out of the attic and throwing it above the mantel when you pull in the driveway to visit them.

Ditto on this one. GAH.

Now this train teapot is pretty cute, especially if you have a Thomas fan in the family. You should sell it, but only to us and for $8.

Keep. This jacket will come in handy for an 80's theme party or if one of the kids joins the marching band.

This also needs to be put in the Keep pile as it's actually a money saver. Tell the kids if they lose a glove THIS will be the replacement. You'll be amazed at how well those kittens will keep track of their mittens!

All photos SplashNews Online

You name both your sons "Prince" and you're gonna get rid of this stuff?! Keep it and let them sell it at later date to pay for their counselling.

Some mornings the children of Mamarazzi are dropped off at school by a Mama wearing pajama bottoms and an old sweatshirt which boldly proclaims the Greek letters of a fraternity of some guy she once dated... the children of Mamarazzi are always slightly mortified and plead, "Don't get out of the car!"

We think they need to count their blessings.

Because at least our face stays on without tape.

Michael Jackson on a Barnes and Nobel shopping spree with Paris, Paris and Blanket

Who'd have guessed Blanket would end up the most normal of the lot?