So this Kimora person is annoying the shit out of us. So we love her. Because with her around, we're expecting a lot of great material to snark.
We haven't talked about her before, so let's get you up to speed. OK, she used to be a model, she married Russell Simmons, and she's yet another celebrity mom who can't seem to stop looking all hot and MILF-y. Basically, she's just really irritating, OK?
And we are not jealous, so don't start with us. It's just that she's merchandising and merchandising, and every single thing she's selling has been done before and better. Everything she touches is just so ... been there/done that. And designed to compete in an already overcrowded market.
You've already seen the sneakers. Let's see. Designer jeans ... wow, brilliant! Who ever thought of attaching their name to a pair of jeans? No one, until Kimora came along. Same with the whole celebrity fragrance thing. Forget about it, Britney, Paris, and Posh! You are now officially eclipsed. And the book about how to have a great life? Again, we spit on you, Paris and your ghost writer, because nothing can compete with Fabulosity. The Hello Kitty jewelry line? Well, who ever heard of Hello Kitty before Kimora came along? Just nobody, that's who.
And now, Kimora and her daughters are going to be in a brand new television genre, where the camera man follows them around and tapes footage of their lives. It's called Reality TV. Ever heard of it? Neither had we.
So we love Kimora. Because we're really excited about what she is going to do for us. Look at the way she dresses up her daughters like the paper frills on the end of a pair of lamb chops. The last time a trophy wife did that kind of thing--well, see this picture?
It's Paris, Kathy, and Nicki Hilton.
And this?
Is Ming, Kimora, and Aoki Simmons.
We predict an avalanche of material.
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