Recently in Joe Jackson Category

OK, maybe deciding to run a headline a la The Onion wasn't a great idea. But you can't really blame us. Honestly, we were struck speechless by Joe Jackson's latest interview.

joe-jackson
Tabloid interviewee and abusive father of the year, Joe Jackson. Image courtesy of the Fark Knight.

Joe has been sponging off Katherine Jackson since Michael died. She has supposedly been paying him $30,000 a month.

We don't know what prompted his latest interview, but we're guessing Katherine told Joe that, like other child abusers of retirement age, he needed to file for Social Security.

Instead, he mouthed off to the tabloids, saying it's Katherine's fault that Michael died.

Katherine was weeping uncontrollably and highly upset. But I didn't give her a hug because I was MAD at her crying. I said, 'If you had listened to me Michael would be living now!' I kept thinking about the times I had stood in front of her saying something was wrong.I couldn't bottle up my feelings. Katherine didn't say a word - I had to get away from her. If she'd done what I asked, Michael would be here today. I am incensed with her. She could have made a difference.

Our reaction?

1. What a douchenozzle.

2. Michael was 50 years old when he died. Isn't there a statute of limitations on blaming moms? Please?

We really came down from our Halloween-candy-fueled high when we heard that Michael Jackson's father Joe is taking Michael's estate to court.

Joe Jackson

Think about it. This is It! tops the box office; the soundtrack breaks the Billboard 100, and Joe "Child Abuse" Jackson shows up with his hand out.

Seems that before Michael died, he had been giving his father a monthly allowance. But Michael died in June, and the allowance stopped. Michael left $26,000 a month to his mother and $60,000 a month to his children. But he didn't arrange for an allowance for his father. Joe Jackson's sole source of income is now his monthly Social Security check.

In court documents Jackson claimed monthly expenses of $1,200 for rent; $2,500 for eating out; $2,000 in airfare ... and Lord knows how much for sunglasses, cosmetic dentistry, and snappy little fedoras.

We're sorry to break it to you, Joe, but the gravy train has left.

Speaking of Gravy Train, maybe it's time you developed an appetite for dog food. Either that, or move back in with your wife.

gravytrainjoejackson

Assuming she'll let you.

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