Recently in Jennifer Garner Category

We know the internet is going be all abuzz with talk about who wore what to the Golden Globes, but let's forget about that for a minute and get real. Really real.

You know how fan magazines are always reporting that stars are just like us? Stars pump gas! They buy lattes at Starbucks! They look awful without their makeup!

We usually dismiss that kind of drivel as public relations nonsense. Are we really supposed to believe that these genetically blessed, über-talented goddesses are just plain folks?

But then we see a picture like this.

In case you don't recognize her, that's Jennifer Garner, and frankly, we want to know her secret.

We run around all the time in jeans and a baggy shirt, wearing our glasses, with our hair scraped back, and our faces innocent of makeup. And yet, our husbands don't look like Ben Affleck.

How does she do it?

Seraphina Affleck's reaction to Daddy's old girlfriend's newest single (and name!) is strikingly similar to our own.

We admit it: We love Jennifer Garner to pieces.

She grew up in West Virginia! She plays the saxaphone!

She's so normal.

She's not a self-absorbed serial adopter.

And she's definitely not party-till-you-drop mom.

She refuses to go all Hollywood on our asses.

She looks like a normal mom.

She even looks like a messy mom.

Like every mom with a preschooler and a baby, she wears whatever underwear she can find within three seconds.

And when she takes her little daughter Violet out for ice cream...

... She lets her kid be a kid.

To the point of being a MESS. Some fussbudgets would consider her an embarrassment. But we love Violet's look. She's the anti-Suri Cruise.

Could we ever snark Jennifer Garner? Anything's possible, but we doubt it.

On the other hand, there's Suri's snark-worthy mom and dad, who we all know groom their little princess to perfection. Now, maybe their Scientolo-nanny is responsible for Suri's chocolate mess, but we applaud it anyway.

Cruises, please, please, if this is your nanny's doing, don't fire her. Instead, give her a big fat messy raise.

Photos: Flynet, Fame Pictures, Splash News

Pity poor Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. We truly like them and we trust them to give their new daughter a reasonably normal name but we also know that these members of Hollywood royalty are under tremendous pressure to come up with a name for their new daughter.

See, celebrity children are valuable commodities, like crown jewels. A cute kid can majestically raise his or her parents' images. Icky kids? Not so much.

Celeb kids can't be named, they must be branded, like a new detergent. Hey, would you think highly of a new detergent named Bob? Image is everything!

Not only that, celebs now trend towards giving their kids not only a first and middle name, they're giving them a first and TWO middle names, just like the British Royal Family. Behold:

The Romjin-O'Connell twins: Dolly Rebecca Rose O'Connell and Charlie Tamara Tulip O'Connell
The Stefani-Rossdale baby: Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
The Kidman-Urban baby: Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
The Richie-Madden baby: Harlow Winter Kate Madden
And even she of Alaskan nobility, Bristol Palin, named her baby Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston!

So the Afflecks did a great job naming their first, Violet Anne Affleck. How can they follow that? And add an extra name, to boot?

We think they'll keep with a theme, yet choose something unique . How about flower names? How about Chrysanthemum?

Maybe they'll go the color route. We like Chartreuse.

How about another name beginning with the letter "V"? Voila, Viola!

So there you have it. Mamarazzi suggests Chrysanthemum Chartreuse Viola...

Affleck.

Or the Afflecks could simply forgo giving the baby a king's ransom of names and follow Filipino superstar boxer Manny 'Pacman' Pacquiao's example and give her the ultimate regal title: Queen Elizabeth.

In this light, we think the flower - ugly color - instrument - duck name RULES.

What do you think? Let us know here.

Machu Picchu hair notwithstanding, normal is the new weird among celeb parents. These days, showbiz kids have relatively normal names like Kingston and Violet. Not a Pilot Inspektor in the bunch.

Recent celeb kids are too darn conventional-cute. Come on, you know you want to eat little Violet up!

We need more peculiar babies. We need more peculiar parents.

Therefore, we offer our first Mamarazzi Wish List request.

Who better than the eccentric wealthy New York bag ladies we've known since they were tots themselves?

Mary Kate and Ashley (we don't know which is which), we need you to reproduce! Soon!

You will fill the gossip rags with sorely needed fabulous fashion and constant curiosity.

For that added touch and for your kids' sanity, please hire Mary Poppins for your nanny.

All photos from people.com

"I'm in the worst shape ever," size 6-8 ("definitely more an 8") Jennifer Garner, 34, tells Elle magazine in its January issue.
"My trainer just shakes her head and says, 'This is a disaster.' "

Someone's skinny ass just made our naughty list.