Today, Mamarazzi celebrates the birth of American freedoms the traditional way, with friends and family.
We'd like to add a sickly waif in need to our family celebrations this year.

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. You need us. AGAIN. Come stay with the Mamarazzi Mamas and feel free to live the real good life this July 4th.
Feel free to hold an umbrella over the grill chef, because it always thunderstorms right when it's time to roast the weenies.
Feel free to help us make a traditional red, white and blue Jell-O® mold that never sets up properly and ends up in semi-congealed pools on our Chinet®. We slurp it down it anyway.
Feel free to learn our strategies on how not to get impaled in our friendly games of lawn darts.
And feel free to stick to Diet Dr. Pepper®. You'll have to settle for getting your alcohol fix from our Flaming Red, White and Blue Shooter breath.
Photo Montage: TMZ
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