Mamarazzi: Guilty Pleasures Archives

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Jul
04

Freedom, American Style

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Today, Mamarazzi celebrates the birth of American freedoms the traditional way, with friends and family.

We'd like to add a sickly waif in need to our family celebrations this year.

Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay. You need us. AGAIN. Come stay with the Mamarazzi Mamas and feel free to live the real good life this July 4th.

Feel free to hold an umbrella over the grill chef, because it always thunderstorms right when it's time to roast the weenies.

Feel free to help us make a traditional red, white and blue Jell-O® mold that never sets up properly and ends up in semi-congealed pools on our Chinet®. We slurp it down it anyway.

Feel free to learn our strategies on how not to get impaled in our friendly games of lawn darts.

And feel free to stick to Diet Dr. Pepper®. You'll have to settle for getting your alcohol fix from our Flaming Red, White and Blue Shooter breath.

Photo Montage: TMZ

Mar
22

Sometimes the Tabloids Make Our Job Too Easy.

LemonySarah

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Thank you, Us Magazine, for publishing the perfect Mamarazzi cover. We adore it.

Come on, what's not to love? First we've got this fuzzy shot of a pensive Katie Holmes hiding behind her own baby. What could she be thinking? We're guessing something like, "What ever am I going to do? Every time I make a four hour phone call to Posh, Tom's yelling at me to get off so he can break his record 18 'Pu-leeze convert to Scientology!' calls in one hour to the Becks."

Do we even need to mention the lurid "woman in prison" headlines?

But wait, there's more!

Tori and Candy Spelliing are not only together again but they've evidently also turned into wax.

Actually, Candy looks more like a cheap hand puppet.

We love the rest of the cover even though it teases us so.

There's the compulsary Britney photo. Yadda yadda yadda, we know about rehab. Our curious minds want to know, what's the story on her hair? We want to see the stubble!

Finally, we've got the story on Angelina's ongoing quest to adopt half the planet. We want to know, what the hooey's going on in her brain?

And what's with Angelina's sudden 15-year age gain?

And why can't we stop staring at that ginormous blue vein running the length of her forehead?

Help us, Us.

photos: us.com (duh!)

Recently in Guilty Pleasures Category

Freedom, American Style

Sometimes the Tabloids Make Our Job Too Easy.

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Recently in Guilty Pleasures Category

Freedom, American Style

Sometimes the Tabloids Make Our Job Too Easy.

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