Recently in Donald Trump Category

Now that Prince William has gotten married, there's a good chance that in the next year, another heir to the throne will be born. And with Prince Charles getting increasingly long in the tooth, a lot of people are calling for Queen Elizabeth to abdicate so he can become King before he starts collecting the British equivalent of Social Security.

Of course, that's England's problem. But there's a ruling dynasty right here in the U.S. that could use some abdication. We're referring, of course, to the Trump dynasty.

No matter how big a fan you might be of gaudy office towers, bankrupt casinos, fluffy hair pieces, reality television, or political commentary, it's clear that The Donald needs to move off center stage. Did you see him at the White House Correspondent's Dinner? There's talk that he's going to run for President in 2012, but it looks to us as though he's heading straight for Mt. Rushmore.

We say it's time Donald retired and handed over the reins to Ivanka.

Who's with us?

Ivanka Trump, former wife of spun-sugar coiffed Donald, mother of three, and grandmother of two babies reportedly lost her shit and was escorted off a Delta flight after screaming, "Little F***ers! Shut the f** up!" at unruly children who were screaming and running up and down the aisle.

We are speechless that anyone who had sex with Donald Trump for fourteen years would ever fly Delta.

Proving yet again that he is indeed a f*cking tool, Donald Trump has offered Ashley Dupre ("Kristen" to former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer) a role in his new reality show.

Mamarazzi will wait while you go puke.

The Mtv show is based on "My Fair Lady" and will focus on 15 party girls, sending them off to boarding school to become less whore-like more ladylike.

What ever happened to shame? Seriously, isn't prostitution a crime? Shouldn't this chick be in jail or busy with community service?

Just ask little Kai Madison, Donald Trump's granddaughter and heir apparent...

We should go on record as stating that we at Mamarazzi think Kai is rocking the hair, but the grandfather? Not so much.

As we all know, The Donald not only dominates the world of real estate, he's a leader in the meat industry.

For instance, he owns much of the women-as-meat industry. He owns 50% of the juicy Miss Universe and Miss USA pageants and is looking to buy the formerly choice Miss America.

Then he got into the male meat market, sinking his cleaver into Wrestlemania 23's Battle of the Billionaires. His wrestler won so Donald got to shave the other billionaire's head.

Now even his daughter Ivanka's sprawled on a platter for May 2007's GQ Magazine.

Donald, haven't you butchered enough?

Oh my no. Now, nicely browned, he's gracing the cover of June's Sharper Image Catalog, hungrily pointing at slabs of Trump Steaks.

Donald, we'll meat you in Hell.

photos: chicagotribune.com, wwe.com, men.style.com, sharperimage.com

We knew you'd want to be among the first to see him, so here he is:

Oh, whoops! It's the Trumps. a/k/a Mr. and Mrs. Combover Botox and their son, Little Lord Mine's-not-a-Combover-Yet.

OK, so maybe we should be posting yet another picture of Angelina Jolie toting yet another exotic orphan, but why should we feed into the media frenzy?

Everyone knows she's just doing it to avoid geting stretchmarks.

We were going to call this entry "Newsflash: Angelina Spouts Clueless Remarks." But we were afraid you'd think you'd already read it.

Photo courtesy of People.com

But here's the latest Angelina scoop: It's celebrity smack-down tiime between Our Lady of Disco and The Tattooed Angel.

A French magazine quoted Angelina saying that Madonna's adoption of David was "illegal." Then Angelina rushed to the English-speaking press to claim she was misquoted. No word yet from Madge.

Instead, Madonna has rushed to the defense of her pal Rosie O'Donnell, currently battling Donald Trump.

We hate to say it, because Madge can be sort of irritating at times, what with the relentless ongoing metamorphoses, the wealth, the stud muffin husband, the fake English accent and THAT BODY.

But in this case? On the one hand, we've got Angelina refusing to marry Brad, traveling around from country to country spreading hope like Pope John Paul II, and Hoovering up third-world orphans in a manner reminiscent of Robert Downey Jr. snorting lines. On the other, we've got Mrs. Ritchie doing the foster parent thing, working on adopting David, and doing voice-over work for a Luc Besson film.

Angelina doesn't just make Madonna look respectable. Angelina makes Madonna look normal. Which, let's face it, isn't easy.

"Enough about your damned head injury," Madge whispered to Lola through clenched teeth as the paparazzi moved in. "I wore this nurse outfit, didn't I? I got yer ice pack right here, don't I?"

Brooke's family knew it was time to re-evaluate her meds when she was caught letting the baby nurse from her famous cheekbones.

When the custom-made baby buggy finally arrived from Posh Tots, Melania Trump could see the writing on the gold-panelled wall. Her son was destined to be a gay drag queen. And it would be all her decorator's fault.

Photos: People

Daddy Donald Trump is seen here leaving the hospital after congratulating fellow new Dad, Tom Cruise on the birth of his daughter Suri. Also seen here are Shrek and Creature from the Deep Lagoon, both of whom are grateful for the timing of Katie Holmes’ labor. Until that moment they were worried their babies would be the greatest oddities in the hospital nursery.