Recently in Demi Moore Category

Kids can be such a disappointment, can't they?

Well, imagine being Demi Moore and being married to one.

As you can see, Ashton trained like a maniac to look great for his role in Killers.

But now that the movie is out, Ashton isn't spending as much time in the gym. And it shows. And apparently, Demi isn't happy.

Maybe Ashton should be worried. Our kids drive us crazy, but we're not about to trade them in for younger models. Can Ashton say the same? What if Demi is Team Jacob?

(OK, we admit it. We're indulging in empty speculation. Empty speculation illustrated with lovely pictures of hunky boys. Indulge us!)

Demi Moore must be kind of sick of posing for nude pictures.

Even semi-nude pictures appear to have lost their charm.

The symbolism of the giant V on Demi's va-jay-jay completely eludes us.

Maybe it's because she wants to divert attention away from that whole "they Photoshopped her hips away" scandal of Fall, 2009, but she seems more interested in oversized props these days.

Like a giraffe. The spiral staircase. AND THOSE SHOES.
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Credits: Animated W magazine covers courtesy of boingboing; Harper's Bazaar cover courtesy of Ms. Moore's twitter account.

Just when you think reality television can't get any more unreal, our friends from across the pond unveil a brand new series, I'm Hotter Than My Daughter.

Where would anyone get the notion that being sexier and more desirable than their daughters is the goal of any mother?!

In general, the Mamas of 'Razzi don't have too many criticisms of the parenting styles of Demi Moore and Bruce Willis (and the other dad, Ashton Kutcher). Up to now, all three Willis girls -- Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah -- have managed to not wreck their cars, stay out of jail, and keep their underwear on.

Of course, there was that incident two years ago involving Rumer, some condoms, and some rather indiscreet photos on her MySpace page.

But otherwise, the young Willis women have pretty much stayed out of trouble.

Scout Willis turned 18 last week and the extended clan celebrated on Friday with a lavish party.

What has the Mamas concerned are these photos of the youngest Willis, Tallulah, who is only 15:

In the first photo, her drink looks suspiciously not like water and she looks rather inebriated, but we'll give her the benefit of the doubt, even though there have been rumors about underage drinking in that family in the past.

But take a look at that second photo. Does it not look like Tallulah is carrying a pack of cigarettes?

So on the chance that someone in the Willis/Moore/Kutcher clan is reading this, we have this to say:

Smoking is NOT cool. It does not make you look older and more mature, it only makes you look young and foolish. Plus, lung cancer sucks.

And Bruce, Demi, and Ashton: Get a grip on your kids' partying habits before they turn out like this:

All photos courtesy of dlisted.

Celine Dion...



...Plus Amy Winehouse...



...Equals Demi Moore in this week's Twitter post.

Dear Ashton Kutcher,

There isn't a person with functioning eyeballs who doesn't know that your wife, Demi Moore, is not only a hot 46 year old mother of 3, but a hot woman in general. We suspect it's the holy trinity of good genetics, healthy lifestyle and a discreet plastic surgeon, but who cares, the woman is smokin'!

You're a handsome guy and you dress well and most of the grown up world considers you to be one of their own...

However, Ashton, can we call you Ashton?, it's a wee bit, let's say, tacky, to take a photo of your hot wife's ass and plaster it all over Twitter. Especially when you caption it with, "Shhh, don't tell wifey" you sort of look like you a twat...

Or a 15 year old.

Take it up with your stepdaughters, we're sure they can set you straight.

Fondly,

Mamarazzi

P.S. Tell Demi we said, "Nice ass."

Last Monday, Demi Moore told David Letterman about her recent rejuvenation technique.

"I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy."

Here's the video. The juicy parts begin around the 3:20 point.

If we Mamas of Razzi may please be a tad noxious, we have some advice. For starters, the "detoxifier" heparin thins blood but doesn't cleanse a thing. And Demi, honey, if you want to rid yourself of your of blood, donate a pint to the Red Cross and help save a life!

But if you're hopelessly suckered into the whole leech thing to rejuvenate and detoxify, take your 14 year old daughter Tallulah for treatment. She's looking at least 40 and highly toxic.

And she looks like she needs a little extra parenting because she's looking terribly old before her time.

And that sucks.

Photo: Wireimage

It's not easy being Bruce Willis' daughter, Rumer. You have to deal with getting your picture splashed all over the internet. Worse yet, you get pictured with your smasho'ed dad who's looking a little worse for wear.

Bruce's goofy looks are explained in Bruce's recent Playboy interview, particularly this "Nope, I'm not addicted" paragraph:

"I've gone full circle. I smoked weed, and my kids know that. I quit drinking for a chunk of time. I never drank when my kids were around. By now I've learned I can have a couple of drinks or some wine and then stop. I'll have a martini from time to time--vodka, ice-cold, straight up, bone-dry, twist. But especially when you're working, the recovery period is just too much. I go for months without drinking anything. This works for me, but I know people who have to maintain 24-hour vigilance. It's a dangerous thing to say, 'Yes, I was in AA, and now I take a drink on occasion.' Hard-core AA people will say that's a bad message. I'm just telling you my experience."

To make matters worse, Rumer's mom, Demi Moore, has well-photographed heartbreaking jones she denies: Face-mangling Botox addiction.

The good news: By default, "Damn that overachieving chin gene!" Rumer's becoming the best looking one in the family.

As Ireland Baldwin and now Taylor Anne and Hayley Hasselhoff wish their divorcing parents could get along; Rumor, Scout and Tallulah Willis have the opposing problem: divorced parents that are so friendly, it's downright creepy.

Your drunken daughter posted a pictoral of fifteen ways to have fun with condoms on her MySpace page.

Do you:

A) View it as a public service annoucement for safe sex

B) Say in an interview, "She can't help being sexy, have you seen the size of her knockers?!"

C) Create your own diversion by having a serious make-out session with a relapsey reformed skank

D) Get drunk and tell everyone to fuck off

Answers to WWBWD? Quiz:

A: Bitch, please. This is obviously a pansy-ass Lionel Richie solution, only he'd set it to music and have her star in the video.
B: EWWWW! We're talking the dude from Die Hard, not some perv papa like Joe Simpson!
C: Yep.
D: That would be the ever-gracious Mel Gibson approach.