We realize the rest of the internet is busy discussing who wore what to the Oscars, and what was she thinking???? But being mavericks and pretty much bored with awards shows, we're giving it a miss. For today, at least.
Because today we have a burning issue to discuss. And that's tattoos. In particular, tattoos on really handsome men. (OK, our thoughts apply to women, too, but we're not as personally invested.)
See, David Beckham recently uploaded photographs of his latest tattoo. And we're appalled, and not just because we don't think "latest" and "tattoo" belong in the same sentence.
First of all, Beck's latest includes a nude portrait. Of himself. Posing as Jesus. And it gets worse. The cherubs flying around assisting the dead Jesus? Portraits of his sons.
Now, we're not going complain that impersonating Jesus is sacrilegious, because for all we know, Becks is a Buddhist and too Zen to care.
But Jesus, Becks, enough with the tattoos! Tattoos were cool and hipster and dangerous in the 90s. Now? They're about as hip as a pair of spats. They're the equivalent of stiletto shoes and leopard print. What was once trashtasticly tacky and subversive is now available at every mall in the country.
Not to mention tattoos age along with the rest of us. Because men age. Yes they do, and their skin sags. OK, they don't have babies, but if you don't think their skin sags, google "Arnold Schwarzenegger bathing suit". We'll wait.
Then there's the issue of the portraits of the children. Would you want to see yourself Sharpied onto your dad's aging body? And what about when you have kids of your own? What are they going to think of that creepy looking mess on grandpa's chest? Way to make your grandchildren run away screaming, Becks.
If you want a souvenir of your children's baby days, try scrapbooking. And leave that body alone.
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BraveHeartStupidHead: I had a dr