(You know you married a younger woman when she has a Facebook account.)
So far, the mainstream media appears to be ignoring the news that 51-year-old Danny Bonaduce has married his manager, 28-year-old Amy Railsback.
But not us. We've had a soft spot for Danny since Breaking Bonaduce was on TV. The only thing better than watching our Danny chug vodka and inject himself with steroids was watching his supposedly distraught wife Gretchen Bonaduce tell her marriage counselor how upset she was about it all.
Gretchen and Danny in happier days. You can tell because she's sort of smiling.
Not that we weren't sympathetic to her pain. It's just that her face, Botoxed into immobility to a degree that would impress Nicole Kidman, didn't move. Or emote. At all.
This was trash TV at its finest. We gave it our highest rating: five bags of microwave popcorn.
And let's not forget the many times our Danny found an excuse to take off his clothes and display what years of tanning, working out, and shooting steroids have done to his grisly Leprechaun body.
Yes, Leprechaun is a horror film. Why do you ask?
Unfortunately, we can't expect this kind of thing to stop or even slow down any time soon. The new Mrs. Bonaduce has been managing our Danny for a few years, so we can only assume that she approves of flagrant Speedo abuse.
Anyway, Danny has a new bride (his third) his children, Count and Countess (yes, really) have a new stepmother, and the new Mrs. Bonaduce has her hands full.
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