Catherine Zeta-Jones is filming a new movie, The Rebound.
It's a romantic comedy.
It features a scene in which a man flashes Ms. Z-J and the child actors playing her kids.
The flasher's wearing a prosthetic willy.
Did we mention the movie's a romantic comedy?
Did we mention this scene features kids?
Did we mention we have no idea what are the film honchos and Ms. Z-J are thinking?
What are you thinking?
photos: PacificCoastOnline.com
The stuff that threatens the institution of marriage keeps piling up: no-fault divorce, pre-nups, trophy wives, great big huge sunglasses that make your nose look like a pig's snout--
the list goes on and on.
But one thing is getting almost no media attention, and it's marriage-illiteracy. Remember the old rhyme "First comes love / then comes marriage / then comes _______ with a baby carriage." Easy, right?
But these Hollywood hussies can't seem to get it right. Let's see ... can you think of a Hollywood actress who
1. started dating a much older, previously-married Hollywood star;
2. Got knocked up. Had his baby;
3. Worked Out! Like! A! Mother! to get back in shape!
Because she needs to look great in her wedding dress;*
4. Sold pictures and stories to the press.
Yep. That Catherine Zeta-Jones has a lot to answer for.
Separated at (out-of-wedlock) Birth?
* Rumor has it the Tomkat's wedding might not happen. (Why are we not surprised?) Apparently, in Italy, even Scientologists need to fill out the proper paperwork--just like everyone else.
Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas recently announced that they had decided to stop at two children--Dylan, 5, and Carys, 3. Of course, anyone with half a brain can understand why.
Would you let your daughter boink this?
Michael Douglas is Nosferatu. You know, the undead. As played by Max Schrecht in the eponymous movie ... and then Klaus Kinski in the remake.
I mean, does anyone else see the resemblance? or is it just me?
And there is no way this beautiful young woman is going to let that foul, despicable creature touch her again.
See? That's a cross peeking through the paper her bouquet is wrapped in. And he'd better not try to get too close.
Watch it, CZ! He's moving in for another try at your jugular ...
but she foils him! She's wearing the cross! Hahahaha! She laughs and flips her hair in glee.
So she's got a cross ... and she knows how to use it. What she needs now is a spike to drive through his heart.
Did I say Spike ... ?
Heh heh heh.
Images courtesy of GossipRocks.com, ChinaDaily.com, and posters.de
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