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Ivanka Trump, former wife of spun-sugar coiffed Donald, mother of three, and grandmother of two babies reportedly lost her shit and was escorted off a Delta flight after screaming, "Little F***ers! Shut the f** up!" at unruly children who were screaming and running up and down the aisle.

We are speechless that anyone who had sex with Donald Trump for fourteen years would ever fly Delta.

Test your celebrity parenting IQ! Read the following and decide which celebrity mom is most likely to say the following:

"They got in trouble because my children are riding their dirt bikes through the whole trailer park, going crazy, doing flips - and everyone's concerned for their safety. And my mom's like, 'Oh, they've been riding the whole weekend, they're having a blast!' I was like, 'They're not allowed to ride their dirt bikes in the trailer park!' They terrorize the neighborhood the whole time."

"But I think when somebody says something bad about your mother, what are you supposed to do? It is hard when other kids are like, 'I've seen your mom with her clothes off!' I've tried to teach my kids I have no problem with nudity. Violence isn't good but my son was really upset, he was shaking and crying and looking in my eyes. It's so sad."

Choices:

A) Britney Spears in about 10 years. Her little guys are going to be paying for Mommy's music videos and that whole lack-of-underpants era for the rest of their lives.

B) Jenna Jameson in 5 years. Having a mom who was a famous porn star requires growing up fast, which could easily mean learning to ride a dirt bike in kindergarten to escape bullies and teasing.

C) Pamela Anderson, present day. Way better to have the reputation of "Crazy biker kid" than "Son of sagging former Playboy model who enjoyed sex with dubious partners and is still naked a lot."

D) All the of above. These poor little rich boys are SO SCREWED ALREADY, OMG.

Controversy keeps swirling around Carrie Prejean, the reigning Miss California USA and first runner-up to the Miss USA pageant.

Blasted by Perez Hilton, one of the pageant judges, for her stance on gay marriage, Carrie defended herself by saying that her own sister Christina is a gay rights activist--a statement that surprised her sister, as Christina is not gay.

But now, an openly gay woman has come forward to announce that she and Carrie's mother had a lesbian relationship.

Carrie Prejean and her mother, Francine Coppola

So we have some announcements to make to all parties involved.

Carrie and her mom again.

Carrie: We're sorry to admit it, but parents never really lose the power to embarrass you.

Christina's Twitter avatar

Christina: Even though you have the right to bear arms, and probably know how to use them, being a Second Lieutenant in the Air Force and all, we're afraid we're not going to let you shoot anyone. Not even Perez Hilton. Silly String is as far as we'll let you go.

Perez: Please shut up.

Donald Trump: Ditto. And next year, instead of Perez, hire Simon Cowell.

Malibu Barbie Carrie and Christina

Francine: We know you've got enough to deal with right now. But we think you brought the wrong baby home from the hospital.

We gotta hand it to you, it's a creative approach!
However, birthing two bus loads of kids and changing your look

Radar

to better resemble his sex kitten lover/adoption partner/offspringer bearer,

NBC/AP

is not going to get you any closer to sleeping with Brad Pitt.

So knock it off.

Sometimes when dealing with child with the flu, or is starting to potty-train, or in the midst of an ear shattering tantrum, you might find yourself wistful for the day the little bugger will be grown and on their own.
When you have that fleeting thought, we'd like you to remember this recent cover of Tatler magazine:

You might not recognize these young women, but their daddies: Rod Stewart, Bob Geldof, and Ronnie Wood sure do.
(And suddently, that screaming fit your toddler had in the middle of Nordstrom's last week doesn't seem so quite as bad, does it?!)

Brooke Hogan has weighed in with her very deep thoughts on voting and why a woman should never be President of the United States:

"You know what? I am actually not that much into voting. I think it’s kinda crazy that a woman is running, because I think that women deal with a lot of emotions and menopause and PMS and stuff. Like, I’m so moody all the time, I know I couldn’t be able to run a country, ‘cause I’d be crying one day and yelling at people the next day, ya know?”

The Mamas of Mamarazzi have a special message for Brooke:

Dear Brooke,

Trust us, PMS is NOT the reason why you'll never be the President of the U.S. or even President of the P.T.A.

Please shut up.

Pissedly yours,
The Mamas of Mamarazzi

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Alicia Douvall is one of those British "Glamour Models". You know, the models who sink so much money into plastic surgery they evidently can't afford clothing.

She claims to have had over 50 plastic surgeries, 12 surgeries on the twins alone and she's planned another one.

Alicia has a 12 year old daughter, Georgia. She's the natural beauty in the picture above.

Alicia told Closer magazine, "Georgia wrote a little birthday wish-list for her 13th birthday later this month and on it was Kate Moss perfume, an iPhone and a boob job."

Alicia said she will get her daughter a boob job, but not until she turns 16.

"I think a 16-year-old with a nice, sexy figure will do really well as a model as long as she's managed well. That's why I'm happy for Georgia to have a boob job because it will give her a career. She's been at a modeling agency since she was about six. She'll be more famous than Britney!"

Click the arrow on the button below for a musical interlude while you hold your head in your hands.

boomp3.com

So we're guessing Georgia's comfortable with plastic surgery and won't need My Beautiful Mommy, a new book written for kids whose moms are undergoing plastic surgery.

photos: Closer magazine, Newsweek