Recently in Ben Affleck Category

Seraphina Affleck's reaction to Daddy's old girlfriend's newest single (and name!) is strikingly similar to our own.

Pity poor Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck. We truly like them and we trust them to give their new daughter a reasonably normal name but we also know that these members of Hollywood royalty are under tremendous pressure to come up with a name for their new daughter.

See, celebrity children are valuable commodities, like crown jewels. A cute kid can majestically raise his or her parents' images. Icky kids? Not so much.

Celeb kids can't be named, they must be branded, like a new detergent. Hey, would you think highly of a new detergent named Bob? Image is everything!

Not only that, celebs now trend towards giving their kids not only a first and middle name, they're giving them a first and TWO middle names, just like the British Royal Family. Behold:

The Romjin-O'Connell twins: Dolly Rebecca Rose O'Connell and Charlie Tamara Tulip O'Connell
The Stefani-Rossdale baby: Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
The Kidman-Urban baby: Sunday Rose Kidman Urban
The Richie-Madden baby: Harlow Winter Kate Madden
And even she of Alaskan nobility, Bristol Palin, named her baby Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston!

So the Afflecks did a great job naming their first, Violet Anne Affleck. How can they follow that? And add an extra name, to boot?

We think they'll keep with a theme, yet choose something unique . How about flower names? How about Chrysanthemum?

Maybe they'll go the color route. We like Chartreuse.

How about another name beginning with the letter "V"? Voila, Viola!

So there you have it. Mamarazzi suggests Chrysanthemum Chartreuse Viola...

Affleck.

Or the Afflecks could simply forgo giving the baby a king's ransom of names and follow Filipino superstar boxer Manny 'Pacman' Pacquiao's example and give her the ultimate regal title: Queen Elizabeth.

In this light, we think the flower - ugly color - instrument - duck name RULES.

What do you think? Let us know here.

Huh. Looks like Jimmy Kimmel isn't taking the news that his girlfriend is f**king Matt Damon very well AND he's got a celebrity posse that includes Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Robin Williams, Cameron Diaz, and many more watching his back as he, uhhh.... apparently does it prison style with Ben Affleck.

As tempting as it is, we've chosen NOT to be snarky about Valentines Day.

Instead, we're digging deep into our soft sides and featuring a few favorite photos of DILFs and their special Valentines, their kids.

Don't worry, we'll be snarking again tomorrow!

Only Brad Pitt could manage to have a female clone.

Ben Affleck loving his Violet, the cutest celebrity toddler ever.

Our new favorite? Ryan Phillippe makes us swoon by sharing a tender moment with his Deacon.

Note to guys: Babies are the ultimate chick magnet. Happy V Day, everyone!

In this November's Details Magazine, Ben Affleck talks about his sagging career.

He blames his romance with Jennifer Lopez for his career's downfall.

Ben, we must remind you that as half of Bennifer you were white-hot!

You made over $50 million!

You were People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive!

People actually liked your movies!

Ben explains what he means, sort of:

“What happens is this sort of bleed-over from the tabloids across your movie work. You go to a movie, you only go once. But the tabloids and Internet are everywhere. You can really subsume the public image of somebody... [the media] mostly lied and inflated a bunch of salacious stuff for the sake of selling magazines."

Ben, we love your rambling thoughts and fancy vocabulary but we can explain your career trouble in one word: Jiggly Giggiy Congeal-y

Then again, maybe we can't.

Can you?

Who the hell knew that Ben Affleck has a younger brother named Casey, who for the past six years has been dating Summer Phoenix (younger sister of Joaquin and the late River Phoenix) and that they just got married?!

Casey and Summer also have a son born Amsterdam in May of 2004, named Indiana August.
That might sound a little unusual, but if you were born mid-December in Winter Park, Florida and named "Summer Phoenix," it would make TOTAL sense.

Best wishes to the Phoenix-Afflecks and any future children named using a map, calendar, and legalized drugs.

Remember the Sesame Street guessing game with the catchy little song?

One of these things is not like the others,

One of these things just doesn't belong,

Can you tell which thing

Is not like the others

By the time I finish my song?

If you guessed Denise Richards for being a whore who sleeps with her friend's husband, you're absolutely right!