Recently in Balloon Boy Category

A year or so after pretending that his son Falcon flew away in a weather balloon, Balloon Dad Richard Heene's BAAAAAACK -- and he's roaring like Billy Mays a bear all in the name of selling his patent pending (good luck on that one) Bear Scratchâ„¢ back scratcher! Watch the video above for over two and a half minutes of Balloon Dad yellin', scratchin' and pimpin' out little Falcon once again.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! Click here to see Balloon Dad Richard Heene's Bear Scratch web page featuring many, many AMAZING! wonders, including the actual product that's perfect for your itchy friends and family. The Bear Scratch promo video below, however, is on Mamarazzi's list for the Most Amazingly Awful Videos of 2010. Thank you, Balloon Dad, for making us itchy all over in the worst possible way.

Wow, that whole Balloon Boy escapade was really some must-see TV, wasn't it?

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Weird and unreal and suspenseful. Like a mash-up of Home Alone, James and the Giant Peach, and the twitter fail whale.

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Confession time: we actually didn't catch any of it. Kristin was curled up with Princess Di's funeral service. Sarah was watching O. J. in the white Bronco. Poppy was trying to decide whether that really was a "wardrobe malfunction," and Susie was hypnotized by Aretha Franklin's hat.

You see, we're connoisseurs of live TV excitement, and Balloon Boy didn't make the cut.

We've carried children to term. We've carried angry toddlers out of restaurants. If we had to, we're pretty sure we could carry a six year old.

And we know a Jiffy Pop container filled with helium wouldn't be able to do it.

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