Recently in Anna Nicole Smith Category

For some reason, we have the feeling that Anna Nicole Smith wasn't worth nearly as much as she claimed to be.

It's a lovely gesture to set something aside that was of importance to a deceased parent for their surviving child. Wedding dresses, pieces of sentimental jewelry, or a treasure photograph are common choices.

And we can sympathize with burden on Larry Birkhead. What possession could capture the essence of the late Anna Nicole Smith, famous for T & A and vapid gold diggery, for one-year-old Dannielynn?

However, because Daddy is a a moron and Momma didn't have hobbies other than posing in men's magazines, DannieLynn's memory box will contain lingerie Anna Nicole wore for a Playboy photo shoot and we're not very impressed with that.

The world is starting to realize what the Mamarazzi has known all along- our readers are some of the sharpest knives in the drawer- and we've started getting sent information and begged to pass it along to y'all.
Because we have discerning taste, we spare you the free laxatives samples and scratch and sniffs of the latest toilet cleaners but this email caught our eye.

Rick Smolan and the team that produced A Day in the Life of America: America 24/7, 24 Hours in Cyberspace, and One Digital Day, are taking on their biggest challenge so far- a project called “America at Home.”

The entire American population is invited the week of September 17th-23rd to take digital photographs of what “home” means to them, and submit them to MyAmericaAtHome.com. The result will be a mixture of photos both from amateurs and professional photographers, who will also be capturing images of what defines the home.

Selected photos will be used in a 224 page coffee table book entitled "America at Home,” which will be released in March of 2008. If any of our readers are included, we'll glady pony up the cash and add the book to our dust collection library!

Because we're special, we got a sneak peak at some of our favorite celebrity parents' submissions of their versions of America at home.

Britney Spears's photo was as cheesy as expected:

While K-Fed shows he's still most at home among the bling and the ho's:

Brangelina's version of home was so sweet, we had to brush and floss:

Poor baby Dannielynn:

Tom Cruise got into a little risque business with his entry:

Get those cameras ready, we're positive your photos will be way better than any of these!

Behold the trailer for Anna Nicole Smith's final direct-to-video cinematic achievement, Illegal Aliens.

Apparently, neither Howard K. Stern nor Larry Birkhead have claimed to be the producer of this baby.

Even Zsa Zsa Gabor's daddy hopeless hopeful husband won't touch it.

Coming to a store near you May 1, 2007!

Anna Nicole. The gift that keeps on giving!

photo: edgewoodstudios.com

Surprising no one, Larry Birkhead is the winner biological father in the Dannilynn Baby Daddy saga...

Do you think this is the last we'll hear of him?

Happy Finding Out Which of Your Mom's Fifteen Sexual Partners is Your Daddy Day*, DannieLynn!

*barring any last minute legal delays, of course

Look, people. We've tried. We really have. We had an incredibly classy and low-key response to the news of Anna Nicole Smith's death. And we have preserved a tasteful silence about Britney's latest shenanigans: the head-shaving, the new tats, the attack on K-Fed's car, and the revolving door that she's had installed on every frigging rehab clinic in L.A. No cheap "in and out" jokes from us. We're classy that way.

But this tears it.

Apparently, last August, when she was pregnant with Danilynne, Anna Nicole Smith posted a friendly shout-out to Britney Spears on her video site, telling Britney that she thought they should meet, because they'd be great friends.

Well. Imagine the possibilities! The mind boggles.

"Hey Britney, honey--do you like my body?"

"Sure! Like my hair?"

And then, having become BFF, they would have hung out together, doing their nails, shaving their heads, abusing substances, and watching Tivo'd episodes of their reality shows. You know, the usual girl stuff.

In the meantime, we're waiting for Britney to claim to be Danilynne's father. After all, there is a resemblance.

Anna Nicole Smith died today.

We send our sympathy to her family and other loved ones.

Click this link for CNN's Coverage.

One of Anna Nicole Smith's baby daddy possibilities believes Anna dyed the child's hair to more resemble her creepy lawyer/life partner.

Dannilynn at three weeks

Dannilynn at seven weeks

Mamarazzi is against child abduction in any form but is captivated by the Scooby Doo/soap opera-ishness of the situation.
Daphne would totally have rubbed shoe polish on a baby's head to trick Shaggy into thinking Fred was the father after finding out the rich guy she had also been banging (and had originally proclaimed to be the dad) had had a vasectomy years ago and was shooting blanks!

It's only a matter of time before Anna breaks out the monster masks and film projectors to scare Larry Birkhead into dropping the paternity case.

From the musical soap opera: "She's So Outrageous"

(Howard Stern)
Every Night She Walks Right In My Dreams
Since I Represent Her From The Start
I'm So Proud I Am The One Attorney
Who Is Special In Her Heart

The Girl Is Mine
Baby DanniLynne Is Mine
I Know She's Mine
Because That Baby Girl Is Mine

(Larry Birkhead)
I Don't Understand The Way You Think
Saying That She's Yours Not Mine
Telling Larry King Your Fantasies
Really Just A Waste Of Time

Because She's Mine
The Sperm Used Here Was Mine
Don't Waste Your Time
Anna's Heir is Mine

(Howard]
I Love You More Than He
(Buy You Care Bears!)

[Larry]
But I Love You Endlessly
(Ice Creams We Will Share!)

[Larry & Howard]
So Come Blow Cash With Me
We'll Buy a Town!

But We Both Cannot Have Her
Only One'll Be The Father
A Sad Day You'll Discover
That She's My Rich Girl Forever and Ever