This one's a couple of days old but it's still grossing us out: It's just that good.
Fifty-one year old (struggling) actor Doug Hutchison recently married 16 year old Courtney Alexis Stodden, who has the best three word combo career ever: "aspiring country singer".
We all know that the phrase "aspiring...singer" translates to "talentless, will do anything for attention." But wait, it gets better! Courtney's mom has this to say:
"We are totally supportive of this marriage. Doug is a wonderful man and we love him. They are very much in love and we are so supportive of this. Courtney was a virgin when she married Doug. She is a good Christian girl. She is a beautiful girl. She has real breasts, real lips, she's not plastic."
We've read a LOT of trash, but we've never read a quicker transition from "supportive of this marriage" to "She has real breasts". Kudos, Mom.
Fortunately for us, Courtney doesn't let Mom do all the talking. She has a voice of her own! First, our favorite (so far) Courtney quote:
"I've never done pornography, I never will."
And speaking of Courtney's voice, watch, listen and enjoy.
Given all this evidence, the Mamarazzi mamas have started a running bet on just how long we'll have to wait before we see Courtney's debut in her first Christian Country Porno. Stay alert! We're all betting on seeing much more of Courtney in a fireworks-filled religious and patriotic themed Fourth of July XXX film EVAH.
She is "16" like I am the Queen of Sheba...
I'm going to guess that she was only technically a virgin before she got married.
I don't care if her parents consented or not, she's under 18, therefore he's a pedophile.
Does "aspiring country singer" translate to "hip-hop lip-synching skank?" Because that so-called "music" was about as country as a Bach Cantata.
She hip hop lip synchs with a drawl. Maybe that's new Country?
Seems to me that Jen's second sentence got it right. What kind of fifty-something guy dates teenagers, "legal" or not?
And what kind of parents approve? Are they pimping this kid or what? Why would anyone feel the need to say "I've never done pornography, I never will." unless someone had planted the idea that porn is a great career move? Creepy and sad all around.
Now I need to go poke out my mind's eye.
I'm just a huge fan of parents commenting on their daughter's breasts. It's not at all creepy or weird.
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