Gwyneth, please. We get it. You can sing. But honey, no.
You went to a fancy prep school. You won the Oscar for Best Actress. You star in adaptations of motherf曮ing Jane Austen novels. So we can't imagine how the following elevator pitch worked on you:
OK, we'll have Cee Lo sitting at a big shiny mirrored piano, wearing crazy body armor, a few bushels of brightly colored feathers, and rose-colored glasses. His musicians and back-up singers will be ... wait for it ... the Muppets! It'll be an homage to Elton John's performance of "Crocodile Rock" on The Muppet Show back in 1978.OK, then Gwyneth comes down a steep flight of stairs dressed in a skin-tight black jumpsuit like the one Olivia Newton John wore in Grease, which coincidentally enough, also came out in 1978.
In tonight's performance, the role of Sandy will be played by a Madame Alexander doll.Except Gwyneth will be wearing long pink feather earrings, last seen on fashionable disco dancers in ... 1978.
It'll be killer!
Whoever talked you into this must have forgotten to mention that recordings of your hugely embarrassing performance will be kicking around the internet for ... say ... 33 years.
Admittedly, Cee Lo should be even more embarrassed. But watching you teeter down the stairs in those ridiculous shoes was painful. We keep thinking you'd wipe out like the guy on the ski jump on ABC's Wide World of Sports. Yes, circa 1978--why do you ask?
At this point, we can't imagine that Sir Elton feels good about his Muppet Show performance. And the baby he just adopted is probably already cringing.
At any rate, as of Sunday night more proof that Gwyneth Paltrow can indeed sing was posted on YouTube.
Mental Readers, if you missed the Grammys and have a bottomless appetite for cheese, here you go:
Don't say we didn't warn you.
You know Gwyneth's in a bad place when she's channeling (1978 word!) the Heidi half of Speidi.
I am so confused by using these lyrics as a duet.
It all would work if Madonna came onstage driving a taxi to play the person driving everyone around town, but no one consulted me.
It was crazy, but considering I went to grade school with the puppeteers, I was kinda excited to see it =oD Seeing the Elton John clip makes it make so much more sense . . . 'though not any less crazy.
Forget what she's wearing, what the eff is HE wearing?!
I feel like that episode of friends when the old lady's spirit enters Phoebe and won't leave till she's seen "everything." I think I've seen everything---take me now.
I agree with Poppy. G. looked like she was terrified of falling with those ridiculous heels. You're a huge star with box-office power and looks to die for. Why not "just say no" to foot-cramping, possible leg-breaking, teeter-totter heels, wear something comfortable but stylish instead, and give the rest of us some relief from the idiocy of "fashion"?
I'm sorry Mammas...but I LOVED it! I thought it was fun....and isn't that what music is supposed to be, fun?
I mean, Cee Lo has even said, the whole point of that song was to be a bit ridiculous! So, why not go completely over the top with muppets, feathers and Gweneth, who sang the same song on Glee?
Lighten up a bit girls!