In Which Mamarazzi Fails To Be Cool. Again.

Jan
13

In Which Mamarazzi Fails To Be Cool. Again.

Because there's nothing a boyfriend wants to hear more than "SURPRISE, HONEY! I'M PREGNANT!", three major celebrities announced their happy oopsies this week.

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Natalie Portman's starting her pregnant naked sexpot career right away. Hey, where are the photos of the happy, committed couple? We could be wrong, but we're betting our mortgages that her kid's future will involve a string of daddies and nannies and the occasional on-set meeting with ultra-busy A+ list single movie star mom. Call us uncool, but the thought of this makes us cringe up like old fairy tale hags.

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Credit: INF
Kate Hudson's expecting a little rocker with current Muse singer boyfriend, Matt Bellamy. Kate's representative guardedly reported "It was not planned, but they are excited and embracing it." Call us a bunch of old biddies, but we'd prefer "They are excited and committed to raising the child as a family."

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Credit: Fame
Then Owen Wilson announced an arrival any day now in Virginia Hawaii with his mystery girlfriend, Jade Duell. She's so mysterious, we can't find a photo of her anywhere. Is she agoraphobic? More importantly, has Owen tossed his womanizing ways into the sea of love? We're giving 1 for 1 odds that next summer we'll find Owen on Malibu Beach, tossing a Frisbee to his dog while his new Summer of Love hottie sunbathes in a teenie bikini. Just call us jaded old finger-wagging wenches.

IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A COMMITTED MARRIED COUPLE HAVING A CHILD?

Why, yes there is.
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We found one.
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Phew.
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Credit: Getty Images

Bless you, David Furnish and Elton John.

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6 Comments

Mamarazzi says: Speak up, gentle readers! Tell us what you think!

I respect the Afflecks and the Damons for raising lovely children who appear to look and act like children (ahem, cough coughSuri) and never seem to be in the tabloids for sleazing around. Are there any more?? That is all I can think of.

Well...

I've had two kids (ten years apart) with two different dads. Both kids were surprises, and the dads were gone before the babies were born.

I raised them both alone (I'm 50 now and never married), they're now 20 and 31, and the older one has an 18 month old and another one on the way (and yes, he married her before they had kids).

Clearly I'm not too caught up in the marriage thing. So who the heck am I to judge anyone else when it comes to marriage?

Oh, but the parenting thing is a totally different story. I hate hearing about the dudes bowing out and not being responsible. Or should I say the non-custodial parent. I don't care if they're not together, but that doesn't absolve you of your responsibilities as a parent.

I've got nothing to add to this discussion except sheesh! If Elton's going out as Captain Hook, shouldn't David be dressed as Peter Pan? WAY TO LOOK SLOPPY, DAVID.

The Beckhams are having another child. Another unbelievably, fantastically beautiful child. And Jewel is married to the rodeo rider who fathered of her fetus (Ty...something, I think?) And aren't Jennifer Connelly and that guy from guy from "A Perfect Mind" who isn't Russell Crowe married? They are having a baby also.

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