Come on, admit it. You've had the fantasy. You know, the one you've had for years, and you don't dare tell anybody because it exposes your deepest, darkest dream.
Shhhhh... it's the one where you're a grownup and you're on stage as the guest of honor -- in front of your old high school class -- and you get to publicly TELL OFF that special someone who did you wrong during that most vulnerable, most wanting, most desperate time of your life.
Being a huge pop star, Katy Perry got to do just that. Go, Katy, go!
Katy took the stage at her old high school on Tuesday, saw her former classmate Shane Lopes in the audience, and addressed him down with, "You never wanted to date me ... you really chose well, honey. Whats up now, playa?"
Step up, Shane! Don't make Katy settle for that weirdo Russell Brand.
Here's the beauty part. Mamarazzi invites you to bare your soul to our millions of readers. Shout at the top of the world (or the top of our comments section) what you'd say to that %$#&@ who made your teenage life extra, extra angst-y.
Helpful tips:
-- Click on the word "Comments" at the top of this post.
-- Give the comments page the weirdly long time it needs to digest your snark.
-- Be MEAN. Channel Katy Perry. Don't hold back one drop of spittle.
-- If your comment disappears, don't fret. We're fixing that!
Photo: www.graphicshunt.com
Hel-loooo? *tap tap tap* Is this comment thing working? Why yes it is!
I had a chance to turn the table my high school nemesis years later, but it was far less public and I'm far less famous. :-) Still, it was worth it.
i hate to be a party-pooper (oh, who am i kidding? i love it!) but it's been my experience that the bully and the bullied remember two different pasts... i'm sure this guy was twittering everyone in sight saying "zomg! katy perry just mentioned me at the high school assembly! how cool is that!"
also, she got out of high school, what, like two years ago?
I'll kick this off . . .
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To the asshole that called me fat and ugly in grammar school/high school. First of all, I was never fat. Admittedly, my glasses weren't the cutest. Contact lenses did me a world of good, but that's really not the point, is it?
The point is that I was SO happy to run into you and find that your broad shoulders have migrated to your waist, and that your forehead is expanding at a rate faster than the Sahara desert. Your eyes used to be your best feature, but now they're shielded from the world by bifocals. BIFOCALS?
So, yes, I'm sure you'd LOVE to keep in touch or catch up over a drink sometime -- especially since your ex-wife (who closely resembles one of those pencil-topping trolls) has left you and taken your troll-like children with her. (What happened? Didn't renew that Viagra prescription to revive the vienna sausage that unimpressively resides south of your belt?)
Odd that you think I'm so beautiful now. Odder still that you think I'd ever go out with you. But please do call me to discuss it. The number is 312.382.5968 {312.FUCKYOU].
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That was fun! You should all try it! :-)
Yeah Biatch -
You remember when your cheerleader-bitch-ass made me tie your shoes (and do it twice because the first time wasn't good enough) in front of the whole math class in 7th grade? I hope that feeling helped your pride when you were asking me for money last year because your marriage was falling apart and you realized I have a high up and high paying job - you asked me to "help a sister out." Yeah - sorry - I only donate to causes I believe in - and ones that didn't humiliate me.