Photo: Getty
So. Your 18 year old daughter wants the whole world to watch her boning. Little did you know, she used to stand at the school bus stop dreaming about being a porn star. No wonder you're sporting that FML look.
You went so far as to offer a cool million dollars to buy every last one of her sex tapes. You wish she'd go to college and become a nice kindergarten teacher or something. HA! Your baby's a legal adult and insists that doing the nasty for the whole world to see is the best career move ever.
That is, besides the prostitution trespassing and assault with a deadly weapon stuff.
Back in our day, we wouldn't have dreamed of selling videos of such wanton deeds. That's what Polaroids were for.
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