Oh dear, it looks like David Boreanaz has a ton of Tiger Woods in his tank, because another sex scandal has broken out.
This time, Kristina Hagan, an actress who appeared as an extra on Bones, accused Boreanaz of sending her obscene text messages, a cell phone photograph of his Bone (pun intended) and, on September 9th, masturbating in front of her.
So of course, instead of filing a complaint with Fox or calling the police or doing anything responsible and normal, three weeks later, she was alone with Boreanaz in his trailer, where she claims he made the moves on her. Again.
So Hagan did what anyone would do, and hired Gloria Allred to represent her in court.
Mamarazzi is willing to believe that Boreanaz is, like many men, a dog. But Mamarazzi smells a rat. A gold digging one.
Now, in case you came in late, Gloria Allred is an attorney famous for representing Rachel Uchitel in her action against Tiger Woods, as well as continuing the work of the Civil Rights movement by:
a) representing a client who claims to have been humiliated when she was made to take off her nipple rings in an airport in Lubbock, Texas;
b) representing a former bank employee who claims she was fired for being too attractive;
c) suing the former Sav-On Drugstore chain for having both a boys and a girls toy section.
That last case, in particular, makes us proud to be American. After all, separate sections for boys' and girls' toys? If Allred hadn't focused the laser-sharp beams of her fine legal mind on the problem, Sav-On would probably be making the girls toys ride in the back of the Fisher Price Little People Bus.
Now when a serious injustice has occurred, it's worth while to hire the finest legal representation possible. You really want to feel certain that your attorney will do whatever it takes to win you a fat settlement ensure justice is served, and girls and boys toys can mingle freely on store shelves.
So we're surprised Hagan didn't hire someone from Wolfram & Hart.
Oh Poppy, I do love a good "Angel" joke. In a show-down between Gloria Allred and Lilah, who do you think would win?
Are you kidding me? Lilah would totally kick Allred's ass!
Is it bad that all I could think about after reading this was "damn, I wish he would send me dirty text messages and a picture of his bone"?