Dear Max,
Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel. My mama got nasty on a live MTV awards show once, too!
However, my mama just got felt up and rubbed her crotch in a man's face, she didn't sing "licky licky yum yum" in reference to her "woohoo."
And while her hair and outfit were not flattering AT ALL, NOT EVEN THE TINIEST BIT, at least she wasn't wearing undies that featured a flashing red heart over her lady bits.
Good luck, Buddy. The playground is gonna be a bitch for life.
Best,
Sean Preston Spears-Federline
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