Dear Kate:
We've just heard that you've landed a new television show, Twist of Kate, where you'll be meeting other single mothers. Sort of like The Simple Life, where Paris and Nicole traveled around the country interacting with ordinary people.
Earth to Kate: you are the ordinary people. At least, you were before you turned your uterus into a clown car.
Hello, did we watch Jon and Kate plus Eight because of your wonderful parenting abilities? Or even your OCD housecleaning and husband whipping skills?
No, we watched J&K+8 because of your adorable children. And OK, we admit it, to watch as your marriage to Jon slowly circled the bowl.
But Kate, you have delusions of glamor. You're not Paris Hilton or Nicole Ritchie. You're a suburban housewife with a Mystic tan, some highlights, and a tummy tuck.
Our advice to you is to remarry. Pick someone named Ken with two kids from a previous marriage. Then you can have a show called Kate and Ken plus 10. We'd tune in for that.
xxx,
Mamarazzi
If I could add on to this open letter to Ms. Gosselin....
"Kate, dear....let's remember you don't NEED to have paparazzi following you to make money. I know you have many kids and a passion for flashy things now, but the paparazzi aren't doing you any favors. So when you make statements like 'I just have to accept this is my life' on DWTS, everyone at home is literally rolling their eyes and gagging.
Oh, and speaking of DWTS, loosen up girlfriend! You look like you're a puppet on a stick. No, scratch that. A puppet could ballroom dance better and probably would be more relaxed than you. Try to have some fun and stop worrying about HOW you look to everyone else!"
Tamara
I'd like to meet the people still telling her she's "that important"... because I am sure I've never seen anyone with that much freaking *brown* on their nose EVER. She needs to just Go. the. Hell. AWAY already.
And all God's children said "Amen."