Happy April Fool's Day! We thought we'd try to fool you with a silly story but had second thoughts because we know you're smart, savvy and possibly have kids who've lamely attempted to fool you since 7:00 AM.
So we've got three stories for you. Only one is real - we completely made up the other two. Tell us which one is real and you win... win... um, our undying respect.
1. Jesse James' PR people are working very, very hard to restore his image as a good guy. First, the standard 45-day stint in sex rehab should help his image among women. But Jesse's got lots of kid fans too, and women will need a lot of work to win back. So, Jesse's people have contacted the Children's Television Workshop, which produces Sesame Street, to help. Because competitor Yo Gabba Gabba's been snagging all the cool celebs and ratings, CTW is interested.
According to reports, Jesse just may make an appearance on Sesame Street talking with Oscar the Grouch about how "doing things that you know you shouldn't do makes everyone unhappy, including yourself". One idea they're considering is is having Jesse sing a duet with Oscar, the classic "I Love Trash", knowing that grownups will get the reference to Jesse's trashy girlfriends! His people believe that, seeing Jesse "talking man to Muppet" in an "endearingly self-depreciating manner" will win back the "3 to 8 and 18 to 40 year demographic".
2. eBay listed a doll for sale that claims to be haunted by the "spirit of (a) 15 year old hussy from 1769". The ad says the doll was raped and beaten by many men at a time, "has many nasty behaviors" and "stinks of cheap whiskey and sex". The listing adds that one "must be at least 18 years old and mentally sound to bid". The listing makes the doll out to be not a victim, but a trashy young woman. What do you know, eBay has removed the listing.
3. Octomom Nadya Suleman's nannies have been talking to the press again, this time about Octomom's new aversion to touching anything resembling trash.
"It's gotten to the point where she won't even put stuff in the trash. She won't touch dirty diapers. She won't even change them any more", complained one nanny. Another noted, "She shrieks at us to throw out trash (that) she made herself... She yells at us to take out the trash a dozen times a day. She has 14 kids and they make a lot of trash."
The nannies agree that Octomom's new trash phobia isn't real, that she's faking it so that she doesn't have to do anything except "go out and get a pedicure".
Tell us which story's real! We'll divulge the answer on Saturday.
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