The problem with The Bachelor is that it starts off all full of promise... various women jump out of limos and are doctors and pilots and teachers and they meet a handsome young man who is, "looking for love" and by the end of the first episode it's clear he is actually only looking for love with women under 25 who are "fitness models" or unemployed... he's there for a Barbie Doll and that sets the tone for great hate for the rest of the season.
By the time ABC drags our bitter and sorry asses to The Women Tell All episode... well, who cares? Reality Steve gave away the ending in January and it just feels as though there is no reason to watch... Mamarazzi hates them all and wants them to go away.
Which is why you had no recap last week... 1/4 of Mamarazzi was skiing in the local mountains, taking full advantage of the best snow seen in Southern California in about 10 years... and did not have Internet to give you a recap of Gia sexing Jake up and yet still getting the boot... just like Reality Steve spoiled.
Curse you Reality Steve! Curse Mamarazzi for reading!
Moving on... last night was that weird episode where all the gals come back for a good old fashioned chat fest and if you've ever seen The Music Man you find yourself humming that annyoying "Pick a Little Talk a Little" number until you can't sleep due to ear worm trauma.
No one tells all.
Here is what you need to know from last night... Ali does not remind Mamarazzi why she was liked in the first place but is a pretty good bet to be the next Bachlorette... Gia is the nicest person to come out of this show... Crazy Eyes Michelle is pretty casual about the whole thing and you can hear the producers tears as she didn't rise to the occasion and freak the hell out... what good is a fight if no one throws a punch?
The Rozlyn (who is now billed as "Make Up Artist and not "Model") Scandal goes in circles but is still the most interesting part of the show. She is hostile and says things like, "Chris, I'm sorry that you're having such a hard time understanding this... " and Chris calls her out and reminds her that all this is about is her inappropriate physical relationship with Said Producer (who seems to be named, "Aidan") Several women offer up their testimony, which is quite specific and um... detailed and Rozlyn calls them all liars.
Conspiracy Theories: Mamarazzi is not a fan.
She is probably full of shit, but swears on her child's life (which makes Mamarazzi want to punch her in the throat) that nothing happened and Jessie (Who? You are wondering. Mamarazzi too.) rather awesomely swears on her dog's life that she saw Rozlyn and Said Producer (Aidan?) making out.
And so it goes.
And Chris Harrison is enjoying the hell out it.
Until!
Until he (Chris) queries Rozlyn about just why would this producer be fired from the show, a show to which he was a friend to and was a friend to him and in Hollywood Speak that means you had a well paying job during bleak economic times if there was nothing going on and she responds with, "Oh really? Friends? Well that is news to him considering you, Chris, were hitting on his wife in New Zeland."
Oh Rozlyn, you pill. No one believes you.
Chris hopes that this experience makes Rozlyn a better person.
Now that's a burn.
(Mamarazzi wants to know if Said Producer's Wife is now an Ex? This is the only storyline of The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love we care about.)
Jake (remember him?) finally comes out and says all the predictable thing about, "this crazy journey to find love" and how he is in love with "two amazing women" and that "this is the hardest decision he's ever had to make" and Mamarazzi is snooze...
We see a bunch of outtakes and they're the most "real" part of this reality show and show some women who might actually be fun and have personalities instead of the FemBot Talking Heads the editors at ABC turn them into... in any case, stay tuned for next week and The Final Rose!
Ok so now I can watch... last episode. I can't ever stand any of it till the last, not even the sour grapes bitch fest.
Well geez Kristin it's about time! I was beginning to wonder if this whole Bachelor thing was over & the "winner" (tramp) was already chosen and by the grace of God I had managed to avoid hearing about it altogether. No such luck, hu?