It's back America! The most romantical, the most shocking, the most ah-may-zing season of The Bachelor EVAH!
Mamarazzi told itself that it wasn't going to watch anymore of this nonsense... 2010 was going to be all about Nova and small foreign films, yet, somehow, last night at 8 o'clock ABC was suddenly on and Mamarazzi totally blames The Husband.
Jake Pavelka, the dumped Bachelor from Season Infinity of The Bachelorette is apparently someone, if you believe the taglines, that American fell in love with... oh Jake, is this true? Do we love you? We don't really remember you, but you sure are cute... nice abs Pilot Pavelka!
America (aka, Lovers of Jake) is introduced to 25 women... they are all pretty, some more so than others... lots of "models" (Roz) and "swimsuit models" (Gia) and "spokemodels" (Caitlyn) and even a "fit model" (Emily)... so very many appellations of being pretty, no?
Mamarazzi also can't quite keep them straight yet but will tell you that some of the "brighter" moments included Channy offering to let Jake taxi down her landing strip... but she said it in Cambodian so ok then?!
Then there was a Ashley (Ashleigh?) who put on a 1960's era Stewardess outfit and to let Captain Jake know his co-pilot (for life) had arrived...
And Michelle who has already game set and WON the title of Official Nutbag of Season Gazillion... it was either because of her feeling that she deserved that first impression rose... "to fill in the missing husband and children pieces... it will just make her feel even..." Or because she sent crazy eyes around the room while announcing she wants to marry Jake and have his babies ASAP.
Run Jake! RUN!
There is also a Vienna who is a Daddy's Girl and a Tenley who was a Disney Princess and an Ella who is all set to bring Jake home to meet her son and have a fairy tale family life together... also, she likes to box and will, "punch someone out" if they get in her way... pack it up other Bachlorettes, it's too dangerous out here on the wings of love!
And so the parade goes on and on with 25 pretty women with good boob surgeons and cheesy pilot puns and a spontaneous football game with the gals kicking off their heels and screaming and generally pretending to be the Kennedys tossing the ball around and Mamarazzi will tell you this is where Jake would have not given Mamarazzi a rose because we are not tossing around the ball, we are in the kitchen whipping up a stiff pitcher of margaritas... we are not "game". Anyhoo, moving on, Jillian, the Bachlorette who dumped Jake, arrives with Ed, her stumpy looking finance or some crap, and they give Jake their opinion on the gals and on and on and on again until we have the Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony ever and Jake has his final 15 desperate ladies.
Coming up on this season of The Bachelor: One of the ladies is totally screwing a member of the crew! Awesome!
Stay tuned, America!
And so begins my weekly guilty, mind-numbing slip into the void that is otherwise known as "bachelorland." Sigh. I guess there could be worse things - cocaine, crack, heroine...
Carrie - I like Elizabeth from DC.. do you think the producers made him keep Crazy Michelle or do you think he didn't want a fellow pilot?
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Don't believe the hype Mammas! Listen VERY carefully to what is being said about the "affair" and who is saying it.
When its announced....who says that they're sleeping together? Is it true? Is it speculation? Does anyone who works for ABC say that they're having a sexual relationship or are they having an "inappropriate relationship"? Are the women the ones saying that they're having sex?
Are we totally trashing the name of a working single mother for the sake of ratings, or is she really as trashy as ABC is leading us to believe.
Just something to think about.
Fsugrle - Mamarazzi isn't trashing the name of anyone... we think love and/or sex with a crew member, someone a Bachlorette probably sees 100x more than the actual Bachelor himself, is fine and a more believable relationship... the Producer in question is probably in trouble for violating some rules of the conduct, but as for the two of them getting it on? Go for it! In fact, it's the most normal and sensible thing we've heard of happening on this train wreck of a show!
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