Taking the crown from Jon Gosselin as King of the Douchebags, Tiger Woods's World Tour of Shame continues to grow ... what should we discuss first? His failure to use condoms with at least two of his conquests? His shame about his small calves? His freaky dreams about David Boreanaz (to be fair, Mamarazzi has them too) and Derek Jeter?
It's a pinata of WTF?
Twenty-four-year-old cocktail waitress and former Tool Academy cast member Jaimee Grubbs said that Woods not only did not use a condom, he also never asked whether she was on any form of birth control. The same goes for 33-year-old Perkins manager, Mindy Lawton (you know, the one he f*cked all over his family home.)
This is the part of the story that makes us hate Tiger Woods. Any person who would risk contracting life-changing or life-threatening diseases for a few minutes of rah rah time, and then go home and expose his wife to those same risks is someone we would like to HIT WITH A GOLF CLUB. Only harder.
La Grubbs also brings us the tragic and teary story of Tiger's Calves of Shame. Seems he gave her a "death stare" when she "playfully sassed" him about them. Poor Tiger. Mamarazzi weeps. We know what will make you feel better! Unprotected sex with random cocktail waitresses!
But here's a story to help you lose your appetite; Rachel Uchitel, the mistress who has somehow managed a seven figure silence payday in the wake of all this chaos, has a "friend" who was only too happy to spill the beans about Tiger's lurid and vivid emails. The most scandalous would be the following:
I had a dream we were married and I was leading the tournament," Woods reportedly wrote. "I came home, excited to see you, and there you were in the bedroom getting f--ked by Derek and David [Boreanaz]. Some part of me thinks you would like that.
The married athlete then explains how wired he is from his x-rated vision of Uchitel with TV and baseball hunks. (US magazine)
Look Elin, you are a gorgeous young woman and although we've all been reading that you have to stay with this yahoo of a golfer for two more years in order to collect the big fat payday (which we feel you deserve), perhaps you can "stay married" from separate states.
I'm so glad you pointed out about the unprotected sex thing...My husband did the same thing with his mistress and thought nothing of what he could be giving me from his unprotected activity! When I asked him how many other men "she" was sleeping with, he (of course) said that she wasn't sleeping with anyone else. (Can his ego get any bigger?) Okay, then maybe he can explain where I got my "souvenir" from! I've been enjoying the fact that Elin beat the s--t out of Tiger, because I know she's going to get away with it. And since I won't be getting quite the same payday as Elin, I don't have to stick around for 2 years. The "only" way that Tiger was better than my husband is that I have to let my kids be subjected to that piece of trash because they are now living together. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that after 18 years of marriage, true love can be found in 3 months. Tiger and my husband are both f--king a--holes and deserve everything they get. Gotta love Karma!
Too bad Elin didn't aim lower with that golf club.
Looks like we may have to start a Elin Woods fan club for her spunk with the golf club.
Kay - I'm sorry to hear about what a creep your husband turned out to be, but I think it's a safe bet that they will make each other miserable!
I guess he had us all fooled about what a genuine, all-American, good-hearted person he was. Talk about a true case of Jekyll and Hyde. Glad to figure out which one is his REAL identity.
I gotta admire Elin's spunk, although, to be honest, I would've picked a driver.
What kind of person DOES this? A true dirtbag. A wolf wrapped in sheep's clothing. OR Nike golf shirts, I suppose. Hope he loses EVERYTHING.
What a shame. Those poor children will be the ones to suffer from this too. To grow up knowing their daddy was a dirty man-whore that ripped their family apart. Nice.
Karma. It'll really kick you in the ass sometimes. Thank God. Did he really think he would get away with this? I think he's got to have some mental issues if her believed that. He needs to be institutionalized and neutered.
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