Last Friday we were twittering some snark about Tiger Woods's car accident. (We're not heartless; we'd already heard he was OK.) You know, the one where his wife, Elin Nordegren, bravely rescued him from his wrecked Escalade by breaking the car window with one of Tiger's clubs.
But this morning, our dream of an adoring wife and grateful husband was shattered by news update involving a cheated-on wife and mother of two 1. scratching her husband's face, 2. chasing him down the driveway, and 3. whacking him with his own golf clubs.
Seems that Tiger has been romantically linked with Rachel Uchitel.
Despite having been linked romantically with "a famous baseball player, a Broadway star, a musician, and various film and television actors," Rachel claims, "I will never kiss and tell."
Whatever, Rachel. That remark strikes us as both pitiful and braggypants. As far as we're concerned, your new last name is Kissandtell. And that's not the worst name we thought up.
But back to Tiger. He's still not talking.
We hope that means he's shopping for a golf-ball-sized diamond.
Because Ellin appears to have a pretty good swing.
"And why remain quiet about it?"
Because it's nobody's darn business?
I'm really hoping that the rumors are not true.
Oh, I hope so, too, Jen. Not only are Tiger and Elin a completely gawjous couple, that Rachel person was supposedly hooking up with David Boreanaz when his wife was pregnant. Which is just too icky to think about this early in the day/week.
when was the last time a pro-golfer made headlines with someone so totally skankerrific as rachel what's-her-name?
and even though (checks) i am one, what is the deal with guys wanting their cake and also wanting the cake that everyone else has clearly taken a bite of, some without using utensils?
I think I read somewhere that the Rachel chick was saying she didn't do it and a friend of Tiger's said that Tiger told him he needed to go out and get a Kobe special. My thinking is that the wife is guilty because if she wasn't, why not talk to the police? What would you be hiding?
See The Latest Tiger Woods Family Photo:
http://webmail.b.earthlink.net/wam/MsgAttachment?msgid=56078&attachno=1