Forget politics. We loves us a good public dysfunctional family.
Sarah Palin's not-quite-son-in-law, Levi Johnston, talks serious trash about Sarah in October's Vanity Fair. Meee-ow!
Because Mamarazzi is all about being fair and balanced, we totally made up the following interviewed Sarah Palin to get her side of the story. Here's an excerpt.
Mamarazzi: Sarah Palin, Levi told Vanity Fair that, when you learned that your 16 year old daughter Bristol was pregnant, you wanted to adopt the baby to hide the fact that she clearly disobeyed your "abstinance only" philosophy. Not to mention, having an unmarried pregnant high school daughter might not fit into your personal and political agenda. Please excuse us for asking, but just how did you feel when you learned about Bristol & Levi's pregnancy?
Sarah Palin: Well, ya know, Levi's a true Alaskan boy. His boys can swim like the majestic Alaskan Salmon, powerfully charging up one of Alaska's bountiful pristine streams.
Mamarazzi: Oooo-kay. Please share with us: How would you have explained the sudden appearance of a baby less than nine months after the birth of your own son, Trig?
Sarah Palin: Ya know, I considered passing little Tripp off as my own. I'd explain that my husband Todd's boys can swim like the majestic Alaskan Salmon, powerfully charging up one of Alaska's bountiful pristine streams. In Alaska, if you can dream of having two babies in eight months, you can do it!
Mamarazzi: Yes. Moving right along, Levi also claims that you do very little parenting and that he actually routinely grilled meat for your kids' dinners.
Sarah Palin: Now, about that. I want to fill my freezer with good, clean, healthy protein for my kids. That's what I was raised on. It is abundant and it is available here in Alaska, with caribou and moose and different game and lots of very, very healthy and delicious wild Alaskan seafood. That's what we eat. So that's why I hunt and why I fish.
Mamarazzi: Levi insinuates that you weren't around much for your five kids.
Sarah Palin: ??????
Mamarazzi: You do realize of course that you have five children, two boys and three girls.
Sarah Palin: I'll have to get back to ya on that!
Mamarazzi: Thank you for your time, Ms. Palin.
Sarah Palin: Right back atcha! I'll field dress you, you bored, anonymous pathetic bloggers.
In Alaska, if you can dream of having two babies in eight months, you can do it!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sarah, you are BRILLIANT!