Dear Miss Griffin:
We've checked everything-emails, tweets--even snail mail, for God's sake--and you still haven't applied for the job of Mamarazzi writer.
We can't figure out why you still haven't applied. After all, it's pretty clear we could use the help.
Maybe you're too modest, shy, and self-effacing to pursue a writing career at this prestigious blog. After all, you're an award-winning television star and published author, but not everyone can be a blogger. So we're taking this opportunity to reach out to you.
We think you'd be a good fit with our team. It seems like only yesterday we were reporting on your interview with Levi Johnston. And now you're going after the Gosselins.
George Takei as Jon? Brilliant. Just brilliant. So think about signing on with us. You'd be perfect! And we could all be BFFs 4eva!!!
If you're too busy making book tour appearances and writing Emmy acceptance speeches to become a Mamarazzi staff writer, could you just email us and tell us who your next victim will be?
Because following you around sure beats writing about Charlie Sheen's conspiracy theory.
Love,
Your Number One Fans
OMG, that was hilarious! I love Kathy!
How great would that wig be for Halloween?!