Rock of Love 3, The Tour Bus Edition, is not a show for the weak of heart (or stomach). Bret Michaels, of your Every Rose Has It's Thorn fame, is still looking for love (in all the wrong places... should have taken a tip from Waylon Jennings, man) and this season he is taking his act and his hos on the road. After all - he's a weird 40something with a bad weave rock star and life on the road is lame rough and let's see if these whores gals are disease free have what it takes.
Anyhoo, each week there is a competition or challenge of some kind ranging from Belly Beer Flops to Bret's Annual Mud Bowl and basically what you have is The Bachelor for Prostitutes Strippers.
Seriously, these are some of the most alarming women on television and Bret Michaels? Well, only the good Lord knows what goes on beneath that cowboy hat but Mamarazzi is pretty sure it's ugly and unhealthy.
Last night had the bus parking in Panama Beach, Florida... (Floridians, we hope you had time to evacuate) where the girls were given the task of watching a handful of children, none younger than what looked to be about 8, at a hotel pool while their (the children's) mothers, all military wives, were treated by Bret VH1 to spa delights. The mothers went off for massages and manicures and Bret and "Big John", his Will Ferrell look-a-like bodyguard, hunkered down in front of the spy cam to watch the gals at task... the best "Mommy" would win a bullshit early morning ATV ride dream date.
Lame, blah, blah, silicone in small bikinis, extensions exposed to chlorine, ankle strapped spike heels on pool coping... and then suddenly it got interesting: turns out 4 of the remaining 7 whores women are mothers.
Mothers who have voluntarily left their children for weeks in order to make out with each other and possibly a former 80s hairband superstar on a bus. Mothers who drink themselves into tequila induced oblivion and then throw up and then shower a deux all on televison. Mothers who publicly beg for the opportunity to sleep with Bret Michaels.
OMG.
AND then it gets better because Mr. Extensions himself reminds us that he has 2 daughters...
FAIL! FAIL! FAIL!
Here is Audrey. She has a son and was actually quite good with the children... for example, when one wandered off she went and, wait for it, brought him back. WOW. In any case, here she is taking face painting to a new level... that little girl? Is coloring in Audrey's tattoo... the one that is a naked image of herself wielding a gun.
Do you think she does parties? After all, Disney Princesses painting butterflies on cheeks is pretty old school.
Audrey won.
Children everywhere lost.
this show is more of a trainwreck than the first two. I know it's bad for me but I can't stop watching!
Um...yeah. Ashley is a tool and, for now, appears to be Bret's fav - very disheartening. Was more than a little fun to see the girls get smacked in the head with buckets (obviously they were paid off for it, but who would need extra candy to ruin Skanky Bikini Clan's good time?)
I'm hopelessly addicted....my brain is oozing out through my ears as I type this.
I know he's a washed up D-list rock star, but couldn't he get better ass than his Rock-o-Love pickings at the nearby Super Center? And what about diseases? I sure as hell wouldn't want to share a toilet seat with one of those girls, much less...
I'm trying to imagine how much convincing it would have taken to get me to agree to leave my children with those women. And then I'm trying to imagine my reaction to discovering that one of my daughters used body paint to color in a tattoo of a nekkid ho. I'm pretty sure my head would explode.
It is sad that I also knew her name was not Audrey but Ashley. And it is a train wreck that I watch every week. I mean - without the Girls Next Door, what else is there?
I had the same reaction upon finding out these women had children too. I mean, it didn't come up before? And those poor kids....Pamela Anderson's kids should form a support group with the Bus Whore kids...
I watched the first two seasons before they decided to take the Freak Show on the road. You know what I love? How Bret always purses his lips in all the pictures he's in. Every. Single. Picture. And why doesn't he ever take that bandana off? Could it be that he's bald underneath?
Crap... you're right Karri, ASHLEY not Audrey. I stand corrected (and shame faced!) ;-)
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