November 2008 Archives

Pop diva Mariah Carey is being dogged by the inevitable newlywed pregnancy rumors these days.

When she was on Ellen this past Wednesday, Ellen brought it up.

Photo courtesy of People.com.

Asked by Ellen if she was pregnant, Mariah said no.

Ellen brought out some champagne and suggested they have a toast

Mariah said no again.

Ellen persisted and Mariah became increasingly more uncomfortable and offered up multiple excuses before finally pretending to drink.

Not cool, Ellen, not cool at all.

If Mariah is pregnant and chooses not to share that information, that's her business. Pressuring her to either drink alcohol or confess to being pregnant on national TV was really shitty.

Ellen honey, we Mamas adore you and generally can find no fault with anything you do, but you not only crossed the line with Mariah, you stomped on it repeatedly as you went over.

After all, you of all people should understand the desire for privacy.

Photo courtesy of Time.com.

What do you think? Is Mariah entitled to some privacy in this matter? Leave a comment at Jen's blog.

We at Mamarazzi are thankful for more things than we can count.

We are thankful for our health, our freedom from want and we're thankful for our wonderful, wonderful readers.

Perhaps most of all, we're thankful for our families.

And we're thankful that we don't have two infants to round out six kids under eight.

Just imagine the upcoming Christmas chaos!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

"[Sean Preston and Jayden James] are starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids."- Britney Spears in Rolling Stone interview

Gee, we never saw this coming!

PS. Perhaps Preston's nanny translated what the lyrics of your new song "If U Seek Amy" spell out, Britters.
(Check it out here and see what you hear.)

...if we are hoping Heidi is pregnant (think of the future post potential!) or if we are praying she's not...

We will say that a "spur of the moment wedding" covered in a 4 page photo spread seems a big, um, not spur of the moment.

Your thoughts? Click here.

photo - ONTD

Say it ain't so!

Thanks to the New York Times hard-hitting journalism, we now know that when Angelina Jolie allowed People to run photographs of twins Knox and Vivienne, the deal included--in addition to a record-breaking $14 million dollar price tag--the stipulation that Angelina's charitable activities would receive positive press in the article and in future articles.

People denies it.

What--you were expecting them to admit to agreeing to run a puff piece in exchange for exclusive photographs? The ones that made that issue sell more copies than any other in the previous seven years?

But don't worry. At Mamarazzi, we've maintained our journalistic integrity.

We'll continue to call Angelina Jolie a tramp-stamped, husband-stealing skank. Why?

Because we love you.

Are you feeling the love, too? Or are we being to harsh on Miss Jolie-Pitt? Come comment here.

--
Photos courtesy of the New York Times and People websites.

OK, we admit it. We thought the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator was pretty funny.

But now she's out of the limelight, back in Alaska. And we wondered what people were going to do for funny baby names?

Well, the stork brought our answer last night, in the guise of Ashlee Simpson's and Pete Wentz's son. They named him

Bronx

Mowgli

Wentz

Obviously this god-awful moniker is designed to distract their innocent child from the three-ring circus of tattoo parlors, plastic surgery, and crazy relatives he was thrust into simply by being born to them. (We figure by the time he's four, he'll realize that like Bart, he's going to have his hands full with Grandpa Simpson.)

At any rate, it's obvious that the baby name generator du jour is:

We have one piece of advice. Bronx may be the new Brooklyn, but we advise you to stay away from Queens.

---
Want to tell us your favorite Mamarazzi Baby Name Generator names? Come leave them here.

We recently came upon some lovely quotes from some of our favorite celebrity parents and well. you know us. We just had to share.

"You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives; sh*t happens..." Angelina Jolie on her teenage romp with another girl. And probably Billy Bob Thornton, to boot.



"Sexual energy really does drive me. ...My mother's the same as me. My parents always said, 'Sex is the best thing in the world...When you start having it you're going to love it. But it's that much better when you love somebody, so just remember that.'" Kate Hudson giving us a little insight into life with parents Kurt Russell and the brassiere-challenged Goldie Hawn.



"Yes, Hef's sleeping with them all...I've actually walked in on him. ...There's baby oil, there's toys flying every which way, there's all these girls naked. It was like watching a movie. I was standing in the doorway just looking -- for a really long time." Pamela Anderson, proving that what happens at the Playboy Mansion doesn't necessarily stay at the Playboy Mansion.

Which one squicks you out the most?

Underage Angelina and her thing about knives and romance?

Kate Hudson revealing a little too much about Mom and Dad?

Mental images of anything involving Hugh Hefner?

Please feel free to vent here.

We can't be sure if the following is due childbearing or is a side effect of being part of the "America's Sweetheart" Club, so we're being extra bitchy........... just to be on safe side.

“I blew a perfectly good marriage to a perfectly good woman,” Danny, 49, told the Enquirer. “I would love to hate Gretchen for it, shortchange her somehow – but unfortunately, I wrecked this marriage. I didn’t play fair. I can’t hold her accountable at all.” In the wake of Danny’s marriage disaster, the couple will share custody of their two children. The sadder-but-wiser entertainer added: “Here’s my marriage advice – try to avoid other women in you want a successful marriage.”

I’m paying a ridiculous amount of alimony,” Danny says. “I have to work a lot!” Unless, of course, Danny can get his ex Gretchen married off. “As of today, there’s a $100,000 bounty on Gretchen,” Danny adds. “I’ve been divorced only days, but I will give a good man $100,000 cash to get Gretchen off my payroll.”

Mamarazzi has some ideas about just what Danny can do with his money... and we're pretty sure Gretchen does too.

However, we want to hear from you... tell us what Danny can do with his 100k.

HRH Prince Charles turn 60 last week.

What is an appropriate birthday present for a monarch-in-waiting?

Photo courtesy of the Associated Press.

Hey Mum, how about turning over the keys to the kingdom to me?

Photo courtesy of HRH The Prince of Wales' official website.

Hmmm, nope, it looks like HRH Queen Elizabeth II isn't going anywhere any time soon. (Not that we Mamas are wishing for her demise -- we do love us some classy royalty.)

So what to give the birthday boy?

He already has his very own commemorative £5 crown, complete with informative packaging:

Photo courtesy of www.24karat.co.uk

And Rod Stewart provided birthday party entertainment:

Photo courtesy of Yahoo Images.

And, damn it all, someone else already gave him mutton:

Photo courtesy of the AP.

We Mamas think we have found the perfect gift -- that one thing that no one has as of yet given the future monarch.

Photo courtesy of the AP.

We are sending a case of Crest Whitestrips.

So, what would YOU give Prince Charles for his birthday? Leave your gift ideas at Jen's blog.

The pregnant man!

No, not this one

This one.

Barbara Walters says she's floored.

We're not just floored; we're in the sub-basement. How about you? Are you ready to explain this whole phenomenon to your kids in a loving, non-judgmental way that makes allowances for the differences in our culture?

Or do you think the whole thing smacks just a little too much of the freak tent at the traveling circus, and unless Barbara Walters wants to bite the head off a chicken, you wish she'd just shut up?

Come comment here.

There's something a little unsettling about Bob Saget, and we're not just talking about his vaguely creepy looks.

It's that he's got this tendency to confuse fictional and factual parenting, particularly when it comes to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

See, he played their dad for eight years on the insanely popular Full House from the time the girls were infants until they were nearly nine.

Earlier this week, Saget told People magazine that he approved of the now 22-year olds' boyfriends. All together now: Awwwwwwwww!

Then again, maybe the Olsens actually see Saget as a father figure. Check out the facial expressions in the picture below.

Saget's face says "Oh, I am SO proud of my little girls."

Mary Kate and Ashley look to us as though they're thinking "Oh, Gawwwd, Dad, you're embarrassing - and seriously creeping us out - again."

Oh, Bob and M-K and A's expressions say so many things. Let us know what you think they're saying here.

Photo: people.com

WENN

Reasons Celine Dion dresses like a femme fatale but makes her lovely daughter Renee dress like a Catholic school boy:

-If you met YOUR aged husband when you were 12, you'd dress your daughter like a boy too!
- Even celebrities are feeling the economic crunch and the 1985 Ralph Lauren collection is available at Goodwill stores
-She's trying to get a reality TV show and a celebrity cross-dressing kid hasn't been done yet.

Our bad! Apparently Celine's daughter is actually her son Rene and he has never wanted a hair cut.

Pamela Anderson, who has two sons with ex-husband Tommy Lee, says her boys are being teased by their classmates over her colorful past and her sex tape shame with their father.

Raise your hand if you saw this day coming.

Mamarazzi would like to offer the following Golden Rule to celebrities everywhere: Turn off the Friggin' Camcorder, Already!

Now, we want to hear from you...

Click Here to offer your best piece of Celebrity-Ad(ss)vice

Normally, when talking about the power couple that is Brangelina, we Mamas have to take Angelina to task for saying something inappropriate, such as that time she called baby Shiloh a "blob."

Today, however, the Mamas need to turn our attention to Brad, who has now joined the "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" Club.

In an upcoming interview on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Brad dished on life with Angelina and the kids.

The thing that grabbed our attention was Brad's revelation that four-year-old Pax recently got sent to timeout and, while there, peed on the chair in anger.

Photo courtesy of Splash News.

Brad, you need to learn what NOT to say about your children in public. That comment is out there now and will never go away. One day Pax is going to find out about it and he'll likely be embarrassed.

To Pax, we can only say: If we were four years old AND our parents changed houses every couple of months AND we had new twin siblings to get used to AND the paparazzi was always chasing our family... Hell yeah, we'd probably piss on the furniture on occasion too.

What do you think about the Jolie-Pitt children? Amazingly adventurous travelers or kids in need of stability? Go over to Jen's blog and tell us your thoughts.

Apparently, Angelina Jolie's enviable ability to slim down after birthing babies has nothing to do with her superior genes, full-time staff, 8-figure income, or the fact that she can jump Brad Pitt's bones any time she wants.

No, her fabulous weight loss secret is video games.

According to an inside family source, the kids taught her that you can use a Nintendo DS to practice math, learn to read music, and exercise.

Who knew? In our households, hand-held games are primarily used to keep children from bickering during long car rides. But Angelina? Uses them to learn Pilates.

We can only imagine what Angelina would do with a video game console. You know, that device that turns your family room into an evil death trap of tangled cables, deafening sound effects, cartoon violence, spilled microwave popcorn, sticky empty juice boxes, and pre-teen bickering. In the beatifically unearthly Brangelina household, it would probably be a homework helping, brain-building Pilates studio and juice bar. And it would be solar powered, made from recycled plastic, and oh yeah, organic.

Of course, being in superb post-baby shape isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sometimes it gets you groped by Skeletor.

We just hope she learns how to blast Skeletor before he gets a one-up.

(P. S. Was that last crack too vulgar? Come tell us here.)

Dear Michelle,

We understand. You've got this really, really big event coming up and all eyes will be on you. You want to dress to impress. So you search around and you find this fabulous dress designed by a major American designer, Narciso Rodriguez.

But then you worry a bit about your image. You think "I'm a nice, normal mom" and and "I so want to please Barack's boss". Because your husband is Public Servant #1, he's got 300 million bosses!

So you and the designer make a few changes.

You raise the neckline to cover any possible alluring cleavage and lower the hemline to a granny-approved upper knee length. You change the fabric from sexy sheer lace to a snooze-worthy solid black. Perhaps you figure showing off your best anatomical features is just too Carla Bruni-Sarkozy.

Then, because you're a bit concerned about your 44 year old body that's not quite as slim as it once was, you add an extra-wide black border along the sides to hopefully make you look 20 pounds slimmer.

Oh, and because these changes make the dress look a bit, well, clunky, add more red to liven things up.

The result?

Michelle, you're a beautiful woman. You've got courage to burn and you've got abundant natural style. You've got what it takes to be a natural fashion icon.

Do not ever, EVER try to please others by dressing the way you think they'll like. Wear the clothes you admire, even if they show a little skin. Oh hell, especially if they show a LOT of skin! Show that Sarkozy babe what a REAL woman looks like!

Oh, but the model's fugly four inch heeled, thousand dollar shoes? We'd prefer you wear Crocs.

Agree? Think we're full of it? Leave your comments here!

You'd think after stepping in a steaming pile of doody, P Diddy/Puffy Combs/Puff Daddy/Sean John would have learned a lesson

but it looks like Poop Daddy is a bit of a gambling man.

Stop by and let us know once you've voted... remember every vote is important and every vote counts!

And click here to see the "Title This" & "Caption This" winner of last week! Yes, you're all so clever we had to go with 2...

Nicole Kidman was featured in Parade magazine yesterday. This is the cover photo they ran with the article:

(Photo courtesy of Parade.)

Nicole! Listen to us Mamas! You need to either stop fucking around with your face or fire the guy who photoshopped this picture. Or both. And eat a sandwich too, while you're at it.

Remember what Nicole used to look like before her plastic surgeon became her new BFF? Go take a look at Jen's blog.