It's Time For A Care-frontation

Dear Katie Holmes,

OK, we figured it out. You're wearing those horrible pegged jeans every single day because you hope the paparazzi will move on to Madonna (what with her lacey capri tights under shorts and all.)

But we're afraid your strategy isn't working.

Instead, you are going to be photographed every day wearing a style we have dubbed the "Grandmarazzi," which, if you didn't know it, is Italian for "incredibly unflattering." No matter how long and graceful the leg (Katie, we're speaking of you here), a pegged leg turns you into the Prom Queen of Stumpy High.

Exhibit A

Summer Stumpy with cute sandals and tank top.

Exhibit B

Disco Stumpy with metallic cropped bomber jacket ... we'll leave this look to the Fug Girls.

Exhibit C

Stumpy with festive scarf.

Katie, it's time to take some tips from Suri. After all, she is Hollywood's Best Dressed Little Girl.

And hitting the bottle more might not be such a bad idea for you, either.

It's Time For A Care-frontation