August 2008 Archives

What's-his-name makes headlines again! That's right, not-so-gentle readers, Lindsay Lohan's father, Michael you-only-know-his-last-name-because-his-daughter-is-famous has embarrassed himself yet again by telling any reporter who will listen to him that Lindsay's BFF, DJ Samantha Ronson, is only famous because she hangs around with Lindsay. He further claimed that Ronson was planning on writing a tell-all book about her relationship with his daughter.

Meanwhile Samantha came out swinging on her MySpace blog:

I think it's safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all written by me. when does your book come out Mr. Lohan?

Now Lindsay herself has posted on MySpace, too:

He has no idea what is going on in my life because i have chosen not to involve him in it- His recent attack on my life and my loved ones is simply for an ADDICTION THAT HE HAS- FAME.

. . . .

I'm not going to engage any further, though i probably could go on...

I have said enough, i have a therapist, and it is not the the camera man at x17.

We say enough with the blog posts--we think Samantha should do an extended play remix of an Eminen song:

Will the real Pa Lohan
Please shut up?
Please shut up?

(Photos courtesy of AllWomenStalk.com and MySpace)

Call us horrible, but when we first glanced this photo of Hillary Clinton and her daughter Chelsea...

...We thought it was a photo of Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi.

Send comments here.

The world is still buzzing about Zima NestleQuik Stonerhead or whatever the name was that Gwen Stefani saddled her baby with. Hoever, Mamarazzi would like to point out this is not the first time Gwen has made a questionable decision as a parent.

There was the blinged up ghetto-fab stroller

Then the high pony tail

And finally, her choice of playdate chaperone for her firstborn. Does the mommy watching Kingston driving look familiar?

Maybe a closer view would help.

Madonna turned 50 earlier in the month. Can you believe it? We can. After all, it feels like she's been around since we Mamas were wee tots and that's not too far from the truth.

In the past few decades, Madonna has changed her look more times than Child Protective Services has been called on Britney Spears.

She's been slutty:

She's been scary:

Apparently she's been in street fights:

And she's even been crucified:

Madonna has also been chic, slutty again, slightly country, and slutty yet again. She has channeled both Marilyn Monroe and Eva Peron -- at least those were decent style icons.

Madonna kicked off her latest world tour this past weekend and it has been reported that 35 designers pulled together 3,500 costumes for Madonna and her entourage:

Frankly, this just feels like more of the same. Madonna, have you ever thought about trying something new, something totally unexpected?

How about more of this:

It's called CLASSY and it looks really good on you.

You should do this more often, like every day. Or at least shoot for three or four times a week. It would be your best reinvention yet, especially if it lasted more than a couple of months.

(And for the love of all that is sacred and holy, how many times do we have to remind you to get your roots touched up? Just hire someone to remind you.)

Broken comments, blah blah blah, we miss you lots, so comment here at Jen's blog.

(Photo credits, top to bottom: AP, AP, Mamarazzi, Mamarazzi, AP, AP, AP.)

... Gwen Stefani and her husband have named their second son "Zuma."

OK, three things:

1. Zuma is a beach

so will the next child be named Waikiki?

2. Zuma is a video game

so will the next one be named Tetris?

3. Zuma sounds like part of a PBS children's show theme song

so will the next one be named Ubbi Dubbi?

Let us know! Send your answers to Box 350, Boston, MA, oh-two-one-three-four.

Surely you've noticed how celebrities in stable, even married, relationships tend to keep mum on their impending motherhood, especially when they're obviously with child? You know, celebs like Jennifer Lopez, Christina Aguilera, Angelina Jolie and now Jennifer Garner, who swear they're not pregnant even though they've not only got baby bumps, they've got baby mountains?

Not to mention celebs like Jodie Foster and Ricky Martin (we KNOW!) keep ridiculously quiet about their surrogate co-parent.

So how come women in ultra-scandalous relationships (remember Monica Lewinsky?) apparently blab about their transgressions to their friends? Friends who like to talk to the media, that is.

Rielle Hunter, according to The National Enquirer, which not only broke this story last October, has exhaustively researched the story (again, we KNOW!), reports that Rielle has been paid gobs of hush money from (the very badly behaved) John Edward's camp.

Yet she's evidently blabbed all about her illicit affair and resultant love child to at least four friends, who are more than happy to tell all.

Just for fun, here's a video of Rielle's game show appearance some years back. She talks about yoga and chanting.

We at Mamarazzi have this to say: Rielle, chant this. Shut the %#@$ up!

Leave comments here.

For a while, Jenny McCarthy looked like she might be veering toward normal(ish) after distancing herself from the New Age-y Crystal child/Indigo stuff in order to be taken seriously in her opposition against the current vaccination schedule that she feels caused her son's autism.

But then she decided to go the faith healer route

and we were reminded that her claim to fame was posing for Playboy and hosting that weird MTV show

and suddently the annoying PTO board members at our school didn't seem so wacky after all.

Sigh.

Jennifer Lopez, who appeared on "Good Morning America" Aug. 18 to discuss her preparations for the Malibu Triathlon, was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ ”

Just. Sigh.

(Story courtesy of msnbc.msn.com)

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Billy Ray Cyrus,

We Mamas of Mamarazzi have been unbelievably quiet on the subject of your daughter Miley. Other than expressing a bit of confusion over her Vanity Fair photos last spring, we have remained mum on other topics, including the plethora of inappropriate photos of herself the child keeps posting online. (We're not linking to the photos here, as she is underage and we have some standards.)

But this has us up in arms:

Mr. and Mrs. Cyrus, ARE YOU IDIOTS? Have you not taught your children to wear helmets when they ride their bikes? She could be seriously injured or worse. And that would seriously achy breaky your hearts.

We beg you to make her wear a helmet ALWAYS, because we'd rather have to hear more of her terrible music than to hear that she was injured or killed in a bike accident.

Sincerely,
The Mamas of 'Razzi

Comments? Click here to leave 'em at Jen's blog.

Photo courtesy of Perez Hilton.

This picture of Simon Le Bon

made us die a little inside.

Thanks and a tip of the hat to The Sun for ruining our weekend.

The light summer reading season's almost over and we're eager for heavier stuff. So thank you, Lynne Spears, for releasing your parenting book, Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World next month, just when we'll need it.

As ChristianBook.com writes, "Lynne was just an ordinary Southern mom when the overnight success of her daughter Britney shoved the Spears family into the blinding limelight glare."

Now, wait just a gosh-darn minute. We recall Lynne boasting about how she Spears-headed her daughters' careers.

So we absolutely did not approach approached Lynne and promised not to spill all the Cheetos on her if she'd write a few extra chapters - in addition to the one she had to write addressing Jamie Lynn's surprise pregnancy - exclusively for the Mamarazzi edition of her book. Which she absolutely did not do cheerfully agreed to do.

Here, for the first time ever, are the names of said chapters:

* What?! I Have a SON?!

* My Kids' Repeated Irresponsible Behavior? Not My Fault! The Devil Made Them Do It!

And our exclusive epilogue:

* My Girls: From Gravy Train to Crazy Train.

Reserve your copy today!

Oh for the love of Xenu! When your denim choices are so horrific a two-year-old refuses to be seen near you, it's time to consider some jean therapy.

To promote the upcoming season of, Tori and Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, the dynamic couple have recorded a music video... paying tribute to some of the famous duos of years gone by...

Have a listen...

Lisa Marie Presley has recently revealed that she is expecting twins. As it turns out, she REALLY revealed herself:

Lisa Marie will be shown in her Victoria's not-so-Secrets in the September 2008 issue of Marie Claire.

The Mamas of 'Razzi are a bit bemused by all the Hollywood twins that keep arriving -- from J.Lo's little Max and Emme to Brangelina's Knox and Vivienne -- 2008 has produced a bumper crop of celeb twins. And that doesn't include twins from the recent past (Dennis Quaid's twin son and daughter and Marcia Cross' twin daughters in 2007) and future twins (Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O'Connell are expecting twins girls this coming winter).

It's clear that there's something in the air over there in La La Land. So be careful if you go for a visit.

But if you do and you end up pregnant, take our advice : Get Lisa Marie's PhotoShop guy if you decide to pose in your unmentionables.

Photo credits: Top, Celebrity Baby Blog; Bottom, People magazine.

Denise Richards' reality show It's Complicated started off with a bang, creating an instant buzz amongst fans of aging babes and ugly custody battles.

However the E! network appears to be on the brink of canceling the show.

Viewers appear to have gotten tired of Denise's shenanigans, and even her last-ditch attempt to smear ex-husband Charlie Sheen with vague charges hinting at abuse of their daughters Lola (3) and Sam (2) has failed to please her fickle fan base.

Denise about to accuse Charlie of abusing their daughters. Again.

But apparently the real problem was Denise's language. As reported in the Star and SFGate:

"Viewers were disgusted that a mother of two young girls would use such foul language."

Denise not swearing, for once.

We've decided to help, so we've come up with some suggestions for Denise's next starring vehicles:

The Potty Mouth is Not Enough
Starship Motherfuckers
Denise Richards II: It's Fucking Complicated, Bitches

(Photos courtesy of SFGate and The Hollywood Gossip)

There's a bit of a kerfluffle over the cover image of the Jolie-Pitt babes, with some people calling "Photoshop!" because 3-week-old babies don't tend to broadly GRIN ON COMMAND.

However, Mamarazzi has no doubt Baby Viv has just realized that she got a winning ticket in the Parent Lottery.

Which just makes this wee grin even more inexplicable.

Dear Katie Holmes,

OK, we figured it out. You're wearing those horrible pegged jeans every single day because you hope the paparazzi will move on to Madonna (what with her lacey capri tights under shorts and all.)

But we're afraid your strategy isn't working.

Instead, you are going to be photographed every day wearing a style we have dubbed the "Grandmarazzi," which, if you didn't know it, is Italian for "incredibly unflattering." No matter how long and graceful the leg (Katie, we're speaking of you here), a pegged leg turns you into the Prom Queen of Stumpy High.

Exhibit A

Summer Stumpy with cute sandals and tank top.

Exhibit B

Disco Stumpy with metallic cropped bomber jacket ... we'll leave this look to the Fug Girls.

Exhibit C

Stumpy with festive scarf.

Katie, it's time to take some tips from Suri. After all, she is Hollywood's Best Dressed Little Girl.

And hitting the bottle more might not be such a bad idea for you, either.

Some people take their babies to Olan Mills for those first official portraits.

But not Brad and Angelina.

Instead, People magazine reportedly paid $14 million for the North American rights to publish the first of hundreds, if not thousands, of photos of the twins.

Apparently, the Jolie-Pitt twins not only have the ability to make hundreds of paparazzi go crazy in the weeks before their arrival, they now also can make magazine editors fork over absurd sums of money for babies' first photos. Clearly, these twins have some special powers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the comments aren't working. Click here to comment.

Photo courtesy of People magazine.

For example, take Rosie O'Donnell. She's not always at her best first thing in the morning

has the occasional bad hair day

hates Donald Trump

uploads family photos to Flickr.

and has been known to express the occasional strong opinion.

She's also apparently addicted to blogging. (We know what you're thinking--addicted to what? What is this "blogging?" you tell us of, People.com?

(HAHAHAHA we crack us up.)

Srsly, Rosie says

"I'll take the month off and then see what it feels like to come back to it. I'm wondering if I can do it. Every time I watch (reality TV show) "Intervention," I'm like, 'They need this show for people who need to get off their computers!' My real addiction is the computer and the blog."

Yes, what with the constant posting and updating and responding to comments ... apparently celebrities really are just like us.

At least this celebrity is.