You know how everyone tells you that the only way to deal with a tantrum is to ignore it?
Is your toddler having a meltdown in front of the candy display at the supermarket checkout? Ignore him. Your three-year-old keeps interrupting you when you're trying to make a telphone call? Ignore her. Your kids are bickering in the back seat when you're trying to move three lanes over or you'll miss your exit but it's the middle of the night and it's raining and you're stuck between two massive eighteen-wheelers? IGNORE THEM.
Well, Paris Hilton is having a hissy, and we say IGNORE HER.
See, rumor has it that she really is contemplating having a baby with Benji Madden.
Yeah, we didn't believe it either. We've even reported the rumor before, but honestly? We thought it was a joke.
But apparently, the baby Nicole Ritchie had with Madden's twin brother Joel has given Hilton big ideas. She wants to get back in the tabs, and what better way than to be the latest Madden baby mama? Even better, she's started feuding with her Simple Life co-star again. Perfect! Rival baby mama drama!
Here's a thought, Paris. It's obvious that you have no talent or intelligence whatsoever. You're a brainless bimbo, but you do date a lot--we'll give you that much. So listen; instead of having a baby, how about accidentally-on-purpose releasing another sex tape?
We promise to be shocked. And yet, we'd feel good, somehow. As if we'd done the world a favor.
We can see it now: "No babies were conceived during the production of this film."
And the world heaves a giant sigh of relief.
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