There's something eerily familiar about this picture of Christina Aguilera. And it's not because it reminds us of so many other celebrities.
It's not her Madonna-channels-Farrah-Fawcett-for-the-Hung-Up-video hairdo.
Or her curvy Meg Ryan lips.
Or her Dolly Parton boobages.
It's the big blue veins on the boobages.
When we were postpartum, we had road maps on our eyeballs. You know, the whole sleepless-nights-breastfeeding-round-the-clock thing.
Whereas Christina's left boobage reminds us of the huge map of the United States that used to hang in our American history classroom. The part that showed the Mississippi River and its tributaries.
Honestly, if you look close enough, you can see Huck and Jim on a raft.
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