Proving yet again that he is indeed a f*cking tool, Donald Trump has offered Ashley Dupre ("Kristen" to former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer) a role in his new reality show.
Mamarazzi will wait while you go puke.
The Mtv show is based on "My Fair Lady" and will focus on 15 party girls, sending them off to boarding school to become less whore-like more ladylike.
What ever happened to shame? Seriously, isn't prostitution a crime? Shouldn't this chick be in jail or busy with community service?
Do the Spears sisters have a pregnancy clause the requires a screen printer be added to the staff?
Could these fathers be seriously unaware that this hairstyle makes them look like douchebags of the highest level?
Jennifer Lopez says she wants to do a triatholon in October so her Dragontale babies will be proud of her.
Does she seriously think that will erase and undo this?
This just in--after 19 years of marriage, Robin Williams's second wife has filed for divorce.
That's right--Marsha Williams is taking back her Wifetime achievement award.
Robin, Marsha, Zelda, and Zachery Williams
Amazingly enough, we don't have anything bad to say about Williams's parenting skills. Aside from naming his daughter after a character in a video game, we have no indication that he has ever been anything but an excellent father.
Of course, he did meet Marsha when she was nannying his children from his first marriage. Which makes Williams less than sterling husband material.
And that leaves us wondering. Is it just really, really hard to live with a comedian?
Or is Marsha trading him in for a younger model?
Last Monday, Demi Moore told David Letterman about her recent rejuvenation technique.
"I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy."
Here's the video. The juicy parts begin around the 3:20 point.
If we Mamas of Razzi may please be a tad noxious, we have some advice. For starters, the "detoxifier" heparin thins blood but doesn't cleanse a thing. And Demi, honey, if you want to rid yourself of your of blood, donate a pint to the Red Cross and help save a life!
But if you're hopelessly suckered into the whole leech thing to rejuvenate and detoxify, take your 14 year old daughter Tallulah for treatment. She's looking at least 40 and highly toxic.
And she looks like she needs a little extra parenting because she's looking terribly old before her time.
And that sucks.
Photo: Wireimage
When Mamarazzi is this cold, Mamarazzi wears boots.
You?
When her mother told her she had to wear the purple plaid knicker outfit, Bindi thought her day couldn't get any worse.
Bindi was wrong.
Congratulations Suzanne of Perfecting the Fine Art of Procrastination for your winning snark!
Mamarazzi wants to thank all of our readers for your bitchiness... we knew you had it in you...it's why we love youu.
OK, we're evil.
But when we saw this picture of Tori Spelling, Mr. Tori, Tori-spawn, and Tori's completely adorable grumpy-looking pug, one thought leaped to mind:
Which one is the dog?
We admit it. It's mean! Tori is expecting baby number two, and she looks happy and glowing and great. Really.
For Tori.
Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry named their new daughter Nahla Ariela Aubry.
Lovely name. But it reminds us of Disney movie characters...
Nala, Simba's girlfriend/wife/mother of the next Lion King in The Lion King and...
Ariel, The Little Mermaid.
Interestingly, this comes on the heels of Jennifer Lopez & Skeletor's twins Emme & Max, which, as we've noted before, are frighteningly close to...
Dragon Tales' Emmy & Max.
Now it looks like Angelina & Brad are expecting twins too, a girl and a boy.
We shudder to think that they'll follow this disturbing trend and name their kids...
Pebbles & Bam-Bam or...
Belle & Beast or...
Lilo & Stitch.
HEY FELLOW SNARKERS! BY POPULAR DEMAND, WE'RE EXTENDING THE "YOUR SNARK HERE" CONTEST THROUGH FRIDAY! Enter as many times as you like. We'll pick a winner on Saturday morning, March 22 (SarahO's birthday, hint hint).
Photos: D-Listed and Perez Hilton
We at Mamarazzi are pretty convinced that our readers are the most clever beeyotches on the Internet and so, once again, we ask you to fire up your inner snark and post your best title for this so-sweet-we-might-get-diabetes photo of Jennie Garth and her family.
Winner gets $1,000,000.00 bragging rights.
photo -Page6
How did we figure out what Jamie Lynn's baby is going to look like?
It was a complicated equation involving genes
and environment,
but we're pretty confident in our projections:
Remember when Michael Jackson crowned himself King of Pop?
Well, say hello to the Queen of Photoshop. Here's Madge at her induction at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame:
and here's the cover to her latest album.
Thank you, Madge. The flat, expressionless face, eerily plasticized thighs, and strangely un-He-Man arms are strangely reassuring. You don't look sexy; you look like a blow-up doll. And because of that, we know our daughters aren't going to want to emulate you, any more than they'd emulate a Barbie. Or a My Pretty Pony.
More than that, we really appreciate a good laugh.
Images courtesy of Go Fug Yourself and the Daily Mail
It was inevitable. Everyone else has had a reality show.
So guess who's going to be making a reality television show this summer?
Dina Lohan. And her daughter Ali.
The so-called "point" of this show is the chance to watch Dina stage-mom Ali to stardom--probably because it workd so well the first time. Apparently we're supposed to see the entire family. Except Lindsay.
Which may be the most mature decision Lindsay has ever made.
So we have just one piece of advice for Lindsay: if you ever get married? Elope.
Because nothing boggles our minds more than the thought of Dina Lohan as Mother of the Bride.
We love this picture. It's from Monday's Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, in which Madonna was honored for 25 years of doing what she does best. Which is something or other.
Seriously, sometimes we feel wowed by Madonna, just like Justin Timbertoes Timberlake. Sometimes we feel like Iggy Pop here, who appears to be exasperated. After all, many of Madonna's greatest achievements haven't been musical. Rather, they've been striking a pose in various manner of questionable (lack of) attire.
If it's been a while since you heard Madonna, we've provided a handy video of Hung Up, which probably isn't entirely safe for work. Shocking, we know.
So how do you feel about Madonna? Is she rightfully Queen because of her musicianship and groundbreaking combination of brains and sexbomb-ness? Or is she simply an ambitious attention freak who's muscled her way into the media for a quarter century? Speak up!
Now, we're not about to get political and pass judgment on NY Governor Eliot Spitzer and his involvement with a prostitution ring... we'll leave that to his wife, but we are curious; just what makes a hooker worth $4,300 an hour?
Readers, give us your best guess as to just what a working girl has to do to earn that type of fee.
Looks like Sarah Silverman isn't the only one who has been fucking Matt Damon.
Congratulations!
OK, we said we were tired of the press running around reporting baby bumps on every stick-thin lollipop-headed starlet who ever chugged a can of Diet Coke.
On the other hand, we got pretty pissed off when J. Lo wouldn't announce that she was pregnant until two weeks before the twins were born.
And so Mamarazzi has decided to do some outing.
This was K-Fed last August.
And this is K-fed on February 29th.
Some of think an announcement will be coming out any second now. Before he goes into labor to deliver those triplets he's carrying.
The rest of us think he's shooting for a job as a Jenny Craig spokesman.
Christina Aguilera is the face of London jeweler Stephen Webster. She's supposed to embody a flawless 50's Alfred Hitchcock movie star.
She's gorgeous, glamorous and... ghastly. Ghostly!
The desire for perfection and the magic of Photoshop® have created a monster - The Undead!
The Mamas of Razzi find this trend disturbing.
But then there are times we wish everybody did it. Like, would it kill you, Annie Leibovitz, to protect us from ghouls? Could you maybe tone down the horrific image of Rolling Stone Keith Richards in your new ads for Louis Vuitton?
Please share your thoughts, if you're not shaking too hard to vote.
Claiming fraud Pammy Anderson has filed for an annulment of her marriage to Rick Salomon.
Really ? Nuptial bliss wasn't found in the arms of the co star of One Night in Paris?
Although Mamarazzi saw this divorce coming from a mile away is shocked, we endeavor to always be helpful and we can't help but believe that a series of drive by marriages is rather bad for the soul.
Therefore, Pammy, the next time you feel so inclined to marry, we suggest you try the following first:
or
or possibly
Knowing it matters to you, dear reader, we kept up our exhaustive investigation to find out the names of Jennifer Lopez's still-unseen baby twins.
The little scamps are named Emme and Max. You know, just like the annoying brother and sister whiners on PBS's Dragon Tales show.
Still no word on the names of Christina Aguilera's frequently aired twins, though.
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