We're Having a Cow, Man.

It's been reported that the voice of Bart Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, donated $10 MILLION, yes, TEN MILLION SMACKEREENOS, last year to The Church of Scientology. Ay caramba!

We're told the money was earmarked for “Global Salvage”, the Church’s efforts to “rid mankind of psychology ills and other aberrant behavior”. What, she wants to rid the world of the very essence of Bart Simpson?

Never mind what we Mamas of Razzi have to say about this whole Scientology thing. Never mind the ten million things her two kids have to say about Scientologists eating their mom's brain.

What do The Simpsons have to say?

Bart: I know you're a Merchant of Chaos* but what am I?

Lisa: MEST?** Meh.

Homer: Bart, Xenu*** is make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Marge: Oh, Scientology can't be so bad. I mean, it's got to be OK if that cute Tom Cruise says so, right? Oh yes, and that darling little drone, um, wife of his, too.

Maggie: Suck suck.

* Merchant of Chaos -A synonym for an anti-Scientologist or Suppressive Person. A bad person; a person who speaks ill of Scientology, and should therefore be punished.

** MEST - Matter, Energy, Space, and Time; the parts of the physical universe.

*** Xenu - The evil galactic ruler who packaged up all humans, put them in Hawaii, and blew them up with H bombs 75,000,000 years ago.

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Tom Cruise Is Channeled Through Bart Simpson for Scientology from Sexy and Disgraceful on February 1, 2008 10:48 AM

abWritePlayer(1665291, 468, 400, "http://vid.adbrite.com/video/abplayer?"); From PBH.. Also see: We’re Having a Cow, Man. Bart Simpson donated $11.2 million to the Church of Scientology Bart Simpson Is An Alien! ... Read More

7 Comments

By Jen on the Edge on January 31, 2008 7:51 AM

Sarah, you are a genius!

By Heidi on January 31, 2008 9:47 AM

Hey, came by way of Jen on the Edge. Who's right...you are hilarious!!!

Heidi :)

By insomniac on January 31, 2008 10:53 AM

i can be a merchant of chaos? i love it! where do i sign up?

"hath not a scientologist e-meters?"

By SueFromSC on January 31, 2008 11:29 AM

You made me choke on my coffee.....which burned, btw, but was worth it :)

By Jen on the Edge on January 31, 2008 11:36 AM

As a publicly avowed Merchant of Chaos, I am waiting for a coven of Scientologists to come to my house and punish me. I am cowering in fear, in fact, because I'm pretty sure the punishment is going to be that I'm forced to watch a 24 hour marathon of Tom Cruise's crappy works, which is every one he's ever made.

By Poppy on January 31, 2008 12:45 PM

Et tu, Bart?

By Ree on January 31, 2008 3:54 PM

Marge, he may be cute, but he's too freakin' short. Maybe he's fallen off one too many platforms while trying to appear the same height as his leading ladies.

--- Another Merchant of Chaos

We're Having a Cow, Man.